I honestly can’t really tell you why the hell I’m still on Tinder, because it’s kinda pointless. However, it’s still a source of entertainment. So I did a big swiping session on Saturday night, when there was a big event going on, not so far from where I live and what can I say, what a waste of time. I mean sure, I’m a superficial bitch, but I just have a long list of things that totally put me off and Tinder is just a huge pile of just that: things that absolutely make me say NO.

So, in case you were wondering how terrible I actually am, here are all my thoughts on the guys I swiped through. And there were many. Thank you, next!

Oh great, you’re showing more cleavage than I do.
Nope.
Nope.
Too short.
HELL NO!
Should I really share my really mean thoughts?
You’re wearing a backpack, so why add a fanny pack?
Did you even look at the pics you uploaded?
Not my type.
Oh great, a pic that shows you from the back.
Awful dresser.
Nope.
HELL NO!
Ok, kinda cute. Swiping right.
Nice, but super athletic. I’m more of a couch potato, but you’ll still get a right swipe for your pretty face.
Everything I’m not looking for.
Nope.
Nope,
You wish.
OMFG, if you could see this guy.
Nope.
31? More like 40.
Is that a fedora?
Oh God. :D
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Absolutely not.
Nope.
Did anyone ever tell you, your beard looks really weird? Why just the sides and a mustache?
Nope.
HELL NO!
Absolutely not.
I don’t trust only one photo.
I know you think you’re the bomb, but I don’t think so.
Not my type.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
30? You look like 15 with that haircut. Not even your facial hair helps.
You remind me of a co-worker whom I find highly unattractive, inside and out.
Wow, those pics tell me nothing.
Waaayyy too many words in your bio. Also just no.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Who swipes right on just a pic with a vibrator, handcuffs and lingerie in it?
That’s another no.
HELL NO!
Nope.
Not dating military guys.
Not my type.
He looks like a classic bouncer.
Not in a million years.
Nope.
Actually laughing out loud.
That’s a big fat NO.
Ok, I feel like this is getting worse by the second.
Just stop with the mirror selfies.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
You sure you’re not 13, hun?
Nope.
Nope.
Oh how I hate the thumbs up pose.
No pic? Maybe it’s for the best.
Not my type.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Cool guy, but totally not my type.
One pic is not enough.
HELL NO!
I like the sunset in the background.
Nope.
Ummm, where do I start…
Nope.
No, no and no.
Definitely don’t dig T-shirts paired with scarves. It’s sooo 2006 and even back then it looked stupid.
Love your name, and that’s it.
Nope.
It may surprise him, but no.
Nope.
NEEEEXT!
Maybe… but no.
Nope.
A big fat NO.
Nope.
Bloody hell…
Never.
Never ever.
Oh, you think you’re so cool, don’t you.
Nope.
Haha, no.
Nope.
Wow, you’re skinny.
Nope.
No, no, no.
Definitely no.
Nope.
Nope.
Kinda cute, but only kinda.
Guitar player, but still, no.
What the hell is that flower shirt?!
Nope.
And nope.

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