Once in a while, people ask me if I’ve met anyone lately, and it’s one of those questions that makes me want to roll my eyes. It’s mostly people I haven’t spoken to for some time, but I always have to ask myself, if they actually know me. The thing is, I’ve been single for a million years because I mostly chose to be. I mean it. I’m very good on my own and am not actively looking for love. And I think to make me change my mind, I just have to fall head over heels, without any chance of overthinking.
Yes, I am on Tinder, but it’s mostly for pure entertainment, cause men can be so dumb. I never really take any of it seriously. Except maybe once or twice, I was open to actual communications and a date, only to learn, as so many times before, that men are douchebags.
The question bothers me because where the hell do they think I would just meet someone? First of all, I never leave the house. Seriously, it’s insane. And with Corona going strong, I just live in my basement and go to physical therapy once a week. Second of all, almost all of my friends are married, have kids, and early bedtimes. And when we meet up, it’s going for walks or just hanging out sipping some tea while watching the kids. Now if that isn’t the way to meet guys, I don’t know what is. There is also most definitely nobody at work, but I wouldn’t even notice, cause I work from home.
I honestly don’t know where to actually meet someone. I’m also never sure if I want to. And yeah, you may say these things just happen, but there is a difference in your attitude, depending on whether or not you’re open to meeting someone. I mostly give off a strong leave me alone kinda vibe, and the good ones do. I’m honestly really not very approachable. But a part of me still believes in accidentally running into someone at the supermarket. And then, I would probably just leave and blow my chances. But who knows.
I’m certain that I could’ve met someone special over the past decade, with a different attitude. I did meet some guys. But to crack my shell, you just have to be one hell of a guy, and that’s not easy. I’m just so used to being alone, and I am not familiar with being in a relationship as an adult. Furthermore, I am not easy to deal with. The only thing I can tell you is that when you mean something to me, you will know because I would do anything for the people I love. I just need someone worthy of it, who can also deal with my antics. Again, not an easy person who has been alone for probably too long.
Anyway, my point: Don’t go around asking stupid questions. I get it but just don’t. Also, don’t ask people when they’ll get pregnant, married, or whatever. Of course, I have done this myself, but we should never stop learning, and I don’t do it anymore. If I do, call me out on it. Cause the thing is, you never know what someone is going through, so just mind your own business. Also, if I would actually meet someone, nobody would believe me if I told them, anyway. But eventually, I would share the news. Maybe on like Instagram and give everyone a heart attack and have my phone blow up.
We are all designers of our own lives, and there is no one right path. Not everyone wants to get married, have kids, have no kids, buy a house, be single – you name it. Let’s just say, I know what I don’t want, and the rest will happen when it happens.
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Girl, take your time 💛 people can be so rude sometimes. I get everything that you just said. I too have been getting when are u going to have another baby As if? Urrgggh. Focus on you, when and if that person comes you’ll know what you want and don’t settle.
Oh, I am in no rush at all. Never have, probably never will. :) People just have to learn to mind their own business. And seriously, if something big would happen, we would tell the people close to us, right? Baffles me everytime… xx
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Before I met my partner I was single for a looong time and I got that question a lot. I was very happy being single and independent, I think a lot of people need to be in a relationship and think its like something that you need to do – find a partner and settle down etc. I’m in a relationship because I chose to be, not because I need to be!
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Yes, I agree 100%. Personally, I find people who can’t be alone exhausting. How can you tell me you loved someone when a week later, you love another person, and then a few months later another. Like, sure, you do you and it’s not my life, but don’t come at people for celebrating being alone. Some people are just still so old-school. I think the next person telling me that my clock is ticking, although I never wanted to have kids, better run fast. :D And I also think the basis for a healthy relationship can never be “needing”. That whole concept does not make sense to me. xx
Enjoy being single and I hope you will meet a good partner, a companion for life!
Oh, I do that. And if it doesn’t happen, it’s fine as well. :) xx
I cracked up as I read this because this is me! I have not dated as an adult because my career and it’s struggles has taken up my life… next friendships are now becoming more important to me finally because I’m used to being on my own. And finally I just got on Bumble for all three options and made a friend so it works… but on the dating it’s just a constant left swipe bc I’m not sure what I want l,,, but I’m also a tough nut to crack and I’ll probably be to much and they’ll either run away or I’ll have to tell them where they can stick it.
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Yayyy, finally someone who understands and guuuuurl, I could’ve written that comment. And you know what? It’s fab to succeed at being alone. We don’t feel the NEED for someone. It would be a bonus because we are good with the life we’re living. And that for me is the basis for a good relationship. But yeah, I make them run too. :D xx
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I love this post so much! I hate when people ask questions about being single. It is your life so live it how you want to and honestly, appreciate the single time whilst you have it xx
Thank you! :) I just hate people being so stupidly nosy. Especially those who I’m not really close with. My life isn’t anyone’s business and being single can be absolutely wonderful! xx
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