7 years ago – About me: My personal development

Every once in a while, I think about how people change throughout their lives. You meet them and a few years later, you think you are talking to someone else. Some people change for the better and some for the worse but either way, we all change. I for sure have changed a lot from the inside and outside over the last ten years. I feel that I grew up and started to take life a lot more seriously than I used to. My interests changed, my opinions changed and I feel that it is still an ongoing process. I change everyday because there is so much that has an influence on me. Just in the past two years, I have learned so much about myself and I feel completely different, in a good way.

Today I went through some old files and found a document with the characteristics from our graduation year book, back in 2008. Every one of your classmates can write things about you and then you get to decide what actually gets printed. It does make me laugh when I read through it because I feel like I was a completely different person, which is a good thing. I wouldn’t change myself in the past for anything in the world but it is good that I have moved on from this. I think it is sad when people obsessively try to hold on to who they are and are not open to development. I know people who are in their thirties or older and still behave like they are eighteen and I feel sad for them. Of course you should not lose your spirit and everyone should have fun in their life, but some things you just have to let go off. I sure did and I want to share some of my characteristics with you, from seven years ago. And just for the record, back in the days, I was so full of myself that I actually sent a few lines about me to a friend and made her hand them in for me, looking like she came up with these. Some things I just wanted everyone to know.Colors of me

 SweetBarbieGirl
This brings back so many memories. It used to be my username everywhere and when you’re young, you just post the dumbest things without even thinking about it. I made sure to delete everything online that is related to this name. If you find it somewhere, it isn’t me, I triple checked. Back in the days, it was an accurate description of me because Barbie was my big role model – platinum blonde hair, fake nails and everything. I’ve really come a looong way.

 Her world is pink
And it will always be. My room at home is pure insanity and looks like a mix of Barbie’s dream house and Disneyland. I have to admit though, that I’m a little over it being so extreme. If I will ever move out, I will definitely include pink elements in my new place but I will not have everything in the same color. I’m still surprised that nobody ever had an heart attack after entering my room or went blind. Not even guys.

 Lives in an American teenie- movie
I always imagined to live in one and it was always one of my favorite things to. I would see things in movies and try to copy them. I have an obsession with writing down quotes and when I was a teenager, I would type them all up, print them out and give them to my friends so we could all include them into our vocabulary. My all-time-favorite is definitely “Clueless.”

 I fell in love – with my reflection
I’m not exactly sure where this one came from but I’m pretty sure it was actually me who said this. Probably sitting somewhere with my girls and actually saying and meaning it definitely sounds like me.

 I’m feeling yummy head to toe
Yes, I’m pretty sure that this one was me. I mean, I’ve always been pretty confident about myself and never shied away from letting people know. I definitely have my moments when I’m just too full of myself and this was one of them. Someone also wrote that I was vain which is true, but at least I admit it.

 Notoriously late
I’ve gotten so much better at being on time, but maybe it’s just in comparison to American people, since I am currently working and living in the States, and they are always too late. I’m definitely on time when it comes to work or other important meetings, I may be a little late on dates etc.

 Electrolicious
I love all kinds of music but I definitely prefer electronic music when it comes to partying. I have the greatest memories that are connected to my friends, parties and electronic music. In the beginning, everyone actually hated us for it because all the other people at our school were into rock music and you know that haters gonna hate. Ironically, a year later everyone was hooked on electronic music and I got a little over it because I was never a fan of liking what everyone likes and following trends. Oh well, I’m definitely looking forward to going out with my girls and enjoy some electrolicious music, though.

 Too clumsy for this world
This is definitely still true and will probably always be. I can try as hard as I want but I still manage to hurt myself five times a day, I spill and drop things and every time I try to be extra quiet, I make the loudest noise. Some people in this world just can’t help themselves and I am one of them. No week without bruises for the rest of my life.

 Best parties when her parents were out – (unfortunately) without you
This was written by my bff and we’ve experienced all the best parties together. I’ve thrown a couple of pretty cool ones at my house and we always had the greatest time. However, we weren’t actually friends with most of our school so we always partied without most of them and loved it.

 Has more than 24 hour per day
I was always known for getting a lot of work done in very short time, and if that means I can’t sleep, that’s just how it is. I’ve always worked more than is actually good for me and still, I take on more and more. It’s all about organization.

 Absolutely unrealistic
I think people think of me as being unrealistic because I’ve always had big dreams. My visions for my life were always a little over the top, but I just think that you should dream big. I actually consider myself to be very realistic because I usually think everything through. I know that the perfect guy doesn’t exist, I will have to work hard to get to where I want to be and I will not get anything handed to me. I never did. But unicorns do exist.

 Dominant
Yup, that is definitely me. I love to tell people what to do and I don’t take shit from anyone. My mom once said that she wouldn’t want me as a mom or as a boss. Well, if you do what you’re supposed to do, I will be the nicest person in the world. If you don’t, I will let you know. And just for the record, I don’t want kids but I would be an amazing mom.

 Great singer
Thank you for that. When I read it, and it was not written by one of my best friends, it meant a lot to me because I’ve heard a lot of negative things about my singing, many years ago. When people don’t like you, they go against the things you love most, in order to bring you down, and I developed a little stage fright over it. I still sing on stages because I would never give anyone the benefit of me giving up, but I still need to drink a beer or two, before I sing in front of people. I have to say though that I think it is easier to sing in front of a big crowd than in front of a handful of people. When it’s so intimate, I feel a lot more vulnerable but I’ve worked on it over the years and I definitely won’t say no to a fun session of SingStar.

 You can always have fun with her
I agree. I might come off as really boring sometimes because I take life so seriously and I don’t go out a lot, I love saying “no” to things, although I’ve worked on myself, but I do have a fun personality. I have a great sense of humor and when people laugh about me, I laugh even louder. And if you give me a drink or two, there is definitely no holding back.

 Does her make-up during math
Well, since I usually didn’t understand a word the teacher was saying, I at least wanted to look good. Math and me were never friends. I’ve always had a habit of checking and applying my make-up, no matter where I am, though.

 Spoiled and demanding like an only child but she actually has a brother
Until today, this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read about myself. It is true, I am spoiled and I am demanding, but never without giving back. I have a huge heart and always try to help people. I share everything I have and I’m pretty sure that I’ve never acted like a spoiled only child in my whole life, but this statement still cracks me up.

 Organizational talent
I just love to organize. It fills me with joy and gives me a feeling of control. I have like 10 organizers and they’re all for something else. I am a compulsive lister and planning things simply fulfills me.

 It’s not my fault that everybody loves me
That was me being ironic, since most people actually hated me. I just love to mess with them. And also, irony is the humor of intelligent people. That comment, I also put in there.

 She’s also there for the bad times
You can call me at any time of the day and I will be there for you. All my life, I’ve done everything for my friends and family. Unfortunately, I often forget myself over all of it and I definitely have issues with putting myself first, but I’m trying to work on that. My heart is just a little too big.

 Yes, you need more than 50 pair of shoes
I don’t know why I even wanted that in there because I was never really that much into shoes. I’ve always had a lot but more because I’m a hoarder, since most of them are just super old. I’m still not that much into shoes. I get some when I need them and if I run into a pair I like, I might buy them. To be honest, shoes are the easiest item for me to leave at a store, unless I really fall in love, but that doesn’t happen very often. I would actually be fine with a pair of boots, some flip flops and my beloved Nike Free’s.

 Hello Beautiful
That was vain old me. I just love the saying and I am waiting to find a guy who says this, once in a while. In the meantime, I just say it to myself. Yes, I actually do that. But before you judge me, try it yourself and I am sure that it will make you feel better.

 Fashion is her Passion
I’m not sure if I put that in or not but it’s definitely not really true. I actually don’t think a lot about fashion. When I see something I like, I buy it and I don’t care if it’s trendy or not. I don’t read fashion magazines or blogs and like to keep it more simple. I have a certain color scheme where pretty much everything can be combined. I love black or gray basics and I combine them with one colorful item or a nice necklace or something like that. I also love men shirts and dresses. I actually have a closet at home just for my dresses and some costumes.

 Shopaholic
Definitely me. I just can’t help myself. Saving money is just the hardest thing for me. I buy clothes, books, Disney stuff, stationery, arts and crafts things and more. Often, I do it to reward myself for things or to cheer me up. People say that you can’t buy happiness but I do think that shopping works a little.

 American Dream
Ever since I was six years old, I’ve been obsessed with America and everybody knew it. I grew up in the States for a few years and never really got over moving back to Germany. I always planned to go back, find a job, live there and I even studied American Studies to bring me one step closer. Well, I am in here now and I’ve learned that it’s not my dream anymore. It’s crazy how something you wanted for twenty years changes but that is just something I have to deal with now.

About haileyjaderyan

⋅ 29 ⋅ a rollercoaster ride ⋅ undateable ⋅ dreamer ⋅ explorer ⋅ disney obsessed ⋅ ♥
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