35 Reasons Why It’s Not So Great To Be Single (Sometimes)

If you’re a close reader of my blog, you probably know that I am a big advocate of being single. I’ve been by myself for pretty much eight years now and for the most part, it wasn’t an issue, at all. I’m a true believer of “I don’t need a man to make anything happen” and it’s true, I really don’t, but I admit that I have my moments, where I think that it may not be so bad, after all. It probably has to do with me turning 30 and also with having my life at least halfway in order. Furthermore, almost every single one of my friends is in a relationship or married and I guess it does something to me. The winter season is also not very helpful, with Christmas and all.

So for once, I thought about why it wouldn’t be so terrible to be with someone, assuming it’s healthy and doesn’t make me feel terrible, all the time. Been there, done that. I mean, being single was a personal decision and not because I couldn’t find someone who wanted to be with me. There was just never someone great enough to make me change my mind. Even though I’m considering it now, he still has to be pretty amazing to make me fall for him. But maybe the following realizations will then remind me of why it’s not so terrible to have a boyfriend. And yes, I have friends, I have a family but it’s just different. I’m sure you know what I mean. And I’m also not as selfish as I may sound. Everything listed goes both ways, of course.

o1. I have nobody to cuddle with.
02. Sometimes, the shoulder to cry on is simply missing.
03. No special lazy nights/Sunday’s.
04. I’m constantly missing someone to travel with.
05. Nobody to call in the middle of the night.
06. There is someone missing who I can share all great things with.
07. I don’t have anyone worthy of sending sexy pictures to.
08. There is never a +1 to bring for any occasion.
09. Zero butterflies in my belly. Really being in love is a wonderful feeling.
10. The minimum spending I cannot reach when ordering in food.
11.  Nobody who drives and picks me up when I want to have a drink with friends.
12. I’m always the single girl at every party.
13. There is nobody I can call babe.
14. Nobody who really makes me feel loved, just the way I am.
15. People wanting to hook me up with random people I couldn’t be less interested in.
16. No Netflix and chill nights for me.
17. Nobody I can just share everything with.
18. I can’t afford to move out and live by myself.
19. Cooking for one isn’t always fun.
20. There is no special someone who catches me when I fall.
21. Having to freeze on my own during winter/Christmas time.
22. No person I could make cute and special presents for.
23. I’m missing someone I can laugh my ass off and be silly with, all the time.
24. Cute dates like ice skating or mini golfing are not happening for me.
25. Nobody to take proper pictures of me. I need an Insta-boyfriend.
26. I can’t force anyone to do the things I love.
27. I’m definitely missing out on crazy make-out sessions.
28. There is no actual guy I can write about. I’m a blogger, after all.
29. I can’t go on double dates with my friends.
30. Always being the third wheel is getting kinda old.
31. No reason to shave my legs.
32. I’m always alone on New Year’s Eve, hiding in bed.
33. Nobody to play video or other games with, do a puzzle etc.
34. People love to give me a pitiful or shocked look like being single is the worst.
35. Having no one helping me get through family functions.

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TV Shows I’m Currently Watching and Loving

I am an absolute TV and Netflix junkie. I can’t even count all of the shows I’ve binge-watched – let’s just say it’s a pretty long list. I’ve always been into it, but it has definitely become more extreme. As a matter of fact, I haven’t read one book this whole year. I’m not proud of it, but watching a quick episode or two, or ten, just always seems so tempting. It also leaves me room to do other things on the side like writing or playing with my phone, which is not possible while reading. I plan on bettering myself next year, though.

I have a schedule with all the shows I’m currently watching to make sure I don’t forget any. There are 14 on this list that are running more or less weekly, at the moment. Aside from all of these, I also watch movies and other random shows that I find on Netflix and I’m always on the lookout for new material. Actually writing this down makes me seem absolutely crazy and like I don’t have a life, but this is just a big part of it and one of my favorite things to do. I just try to plan around it a bit. Since I watch all these shows online, I’m flexible with the time I can sit down to enjoy them. My actual TV isn’t on very much, since I’m not highly interested in the German TV program. There are certain shows every year that I cannot pass up, but other than that, it rarely happens.

So I’m going to share the shows that I’m currently watching and maybe help you find a new favorite. These are the 14 from my list that are a must-see, every week. I won’t include all the other things I enjoy watching in between cause this would definitely be too much. Since I’m always on the lookout for more, let me know what you love to watch and I’ll give it a shot and probably binge-watch it, whether I like it or not. Once I start, I cannot stop cause I always keep thinking that there is a chance of it getting better, from episode to episode. I know, I have a problem.

Will & Grace
When it was announced that this magnificent show will return, original cast and all, I was so incredibly happy. I have all the previous seasons on DVD and it’s one of my absolute favorites. The jokes are on point, the characters are fabulous and I love how it is always super up to date in terms of current affairs. This is for sure one of the best sitcoms ever made and ideal for all lovers of pop culture.

Will and grace

How To Get Away With Murder
This show will get you hooked within minutes. If not – what the hell is wrong with you? Annalise Keating, played by the super talented Viola Davis, is a very special character. Super complex, powerful and also crazy, but an overall amazing female lead. This show just has the right amount of madness and all those flashbacks and forecasts make you keep coming back for more.

Giphy

Keeping Up With The Kardashians
The Kardashians are fabulous and I don’t want to hear anything else. I was so happy when they announced that contracts for more seasons have been signed. They are crazy, over the top, excentric, but I look forward to the show, every single week. I don’t care if you like them or not, you got to give them credit for being highly entertaining.

Chicago P.D.
I admit, I’m still sad over the fact that Sophia Bush left the show because Erin Lindsay was such a badass. And you know, the whole Linstead romance was something I was rooting for. The show is still great though and definitely my favorite from the Chicago’s. I do have mixed feelings about Voight but their cases are really interesting and even if not, I’m just going to stare at Halstead.

Modern Family
I still remember watching the first episode, where Cam and Mitch adopted Lilly and presented her like she was Simba on The Lion King. From that moment on, I was in love with the show. It’s a fun comedy with a variety of unique characters and with this family, there is just always something going on. I love Lilly cause she’s snarky as hell.

The Big Bang Theory
Is there anyone on this planet who doesn’t watch this show? I couldn’t even imagine it not being around. The jokes, the characters and Sheldon Cooper. I’m pretty sure that he would definitely be a pain in the ass in real life, but I find his complex personality very fascinating and I love his development, throughout the years. I also very much love all the girls and the writers truly give you a lot to laugh about.

Young Sheldon
It’s definitely a cute show, if you want to learn more about the childhood of Sheldon Cooper. And the young actor is just adorable.

Dynasty
I admit, it’s not the greatest and most unique show on earth but it’s still fun. It’s like a more tacky version of Dallas. I usually get stuck on characters like Fallon Carrington though. She reminds me a bit of Blair Waldorf, so she sure is fun. (edit: I just googled it and realized, it’s a remake. That makes sense.)

Chicago Fire
Firehouse 51 just seems like such a great group of people to be a part of. The work that is portrayed is incredible and gives a glimpse of what real-life fire fighters have to go through, on a daily basis. I never really knew what the actual job includes and even if only a little of it is true, they do a lot and we should be grateful for their service. And boy, have I cried while watching this show. The worst is when something absolutely terrible happens in a season finale and I have to patiently wait to find out which of the great characters dies on the job. It’s definitely thrilling and emotional. Also, Lieutenant Kelly Severide can rescue me anytime.

Supergirl
I always root for strong female characters and who actually is stronger than Supergirl. It’s not on the very top of my list, but I enjoy watching it. I especially love the bond between her and her sister and she has amazing friends. I guess it can just get a bit boring sometimes, but that’s what distinguishes a good show from a great show. But when you’re into superheroes, this is your girl.

Riverdale
I must say that season one was a lot better. It’s often not easy for writers to come up with proper sequels and this wasn’t really a touchdown. I still cringe thinking of Archie and this hole red circle thing, but now that I want to know who the black hood is, I certainly won’t stop watching. And there is always a chance that it will get better. Who knows.

Grey’s Anatomy
This show has been on forever and it just never gets old. No matter how many amazing characters leave – oh Christina Yang, we still miss you – it still pulls through with other people you fall in love with. Shonda Rhimes most certainly knows what she’s doing. And there is always a slight chance that the characters, who haven’t died, will come back, so I’ll definitely keep watching. I’m pretty sure it’s the show that made me cry the most, so grab your tissues if you decide to watch.

American Housewife
It’s a cute and entertaining show that won’t give you all the feels, but will make you smile. The main character Katie is just so lovable and relatable, which I really like. And I actually believe that this is pretty close to how being a normal family in a super rich neighborhood is like. This show surely gives me a good chuckle.

Gotham
I discovered the show on Netflix and was hooked pretty quickly. Batman has always been my favorite superhero and to learn more about how he became what he is and how his most prominent enemies developed, is something that I find very interesting. Also, everytime one of them is on the verge of death, I’m chill because if they were killed, they couldn’t be in the future Batman movies. It’s pretty dark and crazy but I like it.

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Goodbye November 2017

Goodbye November,

and hello snowy December. When I look outside my window, I see nothing but white. It sure is beginning to look a lot like Christmas and I should probably put up my decorations. I’m just not motivated enough, yet. A lot of people have already bought Christmas presents, their tress are in place and I have done zero. The past month has just been absolutely ridiculous, with a lot of tears and all, and I had even less motivation than usual. I really didn’t think I would constantly struggle with my job and have it make me really unhappy, but I hope that things will look up soon.

So I don’t even know what to tell you about my November cause it would probably turn into a book of complaints and I want to spare you. I’ve never been a fan of this month anyway and it definitely held up its end of the bargain – it sucked! All the rain was depressing, it has gotten sooo cold and it’s just my least favorite month. Man, I really have to stop moaning cause that kills my mood, as well. So enough of it. I will go and look for my Christmas spirit and it will all be better.

However, I did spend some lovely hours with friends and family. I visited my grandma, which always makes her incredibly happy and there was a gathering at my other grandparents’ house, as well. I got to see my godson who – I can’t believe this – turns seven this month. There was a fun 90s party I visited with friends and we danced the night away to the best songs ever created, dressed in 90s outfits. I went to a comedy show and laughed my butt off, went to the movies and did a little fashion show, where I modelled wedding dresses. So I did leave the house occasionally but I always love those free days, when I can just relax in bed all day, watch shows and movies, do a little writing and everything else that is fun on a lazy day, a lot more.

I have high hopes for December. There is a 95% chance that work will get a little better soon and I have the week off before Christmas, so I can take care of everything I haven’t managed to take care of, by then. I’m looking forward to putting up my tree, I’ve already went outside to take some pretty snow pics and I love everything that has to do with Christmas. The holiday’s tend to be a bit stressful but they’re also lovely. So don’t forget to take care of your yourselves, as well. Buy yourself a little present for all the hard work you did this year. When my last paycheck came, I finally bought myself the seven dwarfs from the Disney Store and they’re absolutely adorable and make me smile. Get yourself a little something that you’ve wanted for a long time. There is nothing wrong with making yourself happy.

Listen to Christmas music, bake cookies, share some love, spend a cozy day inside when it’s super cold outside, buy a little present for yourself, take a walk in the snow, eat lots of chocolate, watch as many cheesy Christmas movies as you can, enjoy all the lights, be kind, give an old friend a call, be excited, try not to let life get you down, let the Christmas spirit into your heart and have a lovely December.

Tons of love,
Hailey 

Winter Wonderland

Lovely life
♥  time with friends  Johann König working from home 90s parties girl time  being tagged in memes  Stranger Things  uncontrollable laughter  The Magic Schoolbus  Millie Bobby Brown  ice cream for dinner  buying 90s toys  280 characters  burritos  spending time with grandma  my godson  keeping a Tamagotchi alive  those funny dinosaur costumes  Taylor’s new album  Christmas countdown  great movies  finally owning the 7 dwarfs as stuffed animals  sales  fresh sheets  curly fries  when your favorite pillow comes fresh out of the wash 

Songs I love
The whole Taylor Swift album “Reputation”
♪  Zayn feat. Sia – Dusk till Dawn
♪  Christmas music

Interesting articles and videos
56 Completely True And Accurate Statements About Millennial Culture // 18 Memes That’ll Make Single People Say “Me” // Photographer David LaChapelle: ‘I never wanted to shoot another pop star – I was tortured by them’ // 19 Pictures That Are Way Too Real For All-Girl Friend Groups

My November posts
Goodbye October 2017 // 60 Reasons Why Being An Adult Sucks

My November Instagram 
(from Insta stories cause I only posted ONE nice pic on my feed)

Instagram

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60 Reasons Why Being An Adult Sucks

I’m turning 30 in February and I can’t say that I’m thrilled about it. Sure, it’s not a bad thing but it feels weird and it makes me miss being a child, even more. It’s definitely been a while but I will always be a kid at heart. I know how many great things come with being an adult, but currently, I’m in a constant mood to complain, so I want to point out all the things that really annoy me about being one. Just a warning, it’s a lot.

1. Having to take responsibility for everything you do. At home, at work, in life. It was so easy when you could just blame your mistakes on being a kid. Now, there is just a lot expected of you.
2. Paying bills and really having to take care of your money.
3. Driving when you really don’t feel like it. It was so nice when mom used to pick me up from school in winter, with an already warmed up car.
4. You have to get your groceries, your beauty products and always make sure you have enough of what you need. Running out of toothpaste? Your fault!
5. The older you get, the more housework you have to do. I’m currently living at home but it’s not like I don’t have to help and I lived under different circumstances where I had to do other things so yeah, just everything from cleaning to ironing is annoying.
6. Fashion is so much more complicated.
7. Toys are for children. Screw that! I may not actually play with toys anymore but I still have some and maybe even buy some. And my room looks a bit like Disneyland but yeah, it’s all kind of meant for children. I miss regular visits to the toy store.
8. School vacations were great. I mean, 6 weeks in the summer, some in spring, fall and winter, holiday’s etc. At work, you have to almost beg for time off and hope that your boss allows it.
9. As a kid, you went on vacation with your parents or on school trips etc. and most of it was paid for. Now, I hardly travel because I have no money or someone to travel with.
10. Life in general can be a total pain in the ass.
11. You can’t just eat anything you want anymore because you would get fat.
12. Spending so much time with friends was wonderful, but now, I hardly even manage to respond to an email cause the job is completely draining.
13. Since I grew up in the 90s, I now find it very annoying that I’m not in the 90s, anymore.
14. Going out makes you feel old as hell. Everyone is around 20 and you feel like 46.
15. There is no more time for naps.

16. Everyone kind of expects you to be in a relationship but my love life is non-existent and it get’s harder and harder to find a proper guy. I just want to be like “Guys, ewwwww.”
17. You constantly have to figure out your life and where to go next. Most of the time, it feels impossible.
18. My Facebook timeline is full of people getting engaged, married, having children. Meanwhile, I’m living back home, have been single for like eight years, hate my job at least every other day and just really love to dwell in self-pity.
19. I need so much more sleep than I used to. And even if I sleep for 10 hours, I’m still tired.
20. Your’re expected to act your age which is pretty much the most boring thing ever. Totally overrated.
21. Making doctor’s appointments and taking care of your health.
22. Having a car is amazing, but paying for it is just super annoying. All the money I have to pay for gas, insurance, repairs – I could go on a nice vacation for that.
23. I can hardly meet with my friends and not feel like I’m watching some housewife channel.
24. You think you’ll lose your skin problems when you get older – surprise, you don’t and they come with cellulite.
25. Finding out that all the plans you made growing up just don’t work out the way you thought they would.
26. Being unemployed for over a year was just a wonderful adulting experience…not!
27. My body comes up with new health issues pretty much every year.
28. Making real friends is so much harder. The fakeness of people is just ridiculous.
29. You don’t get a free balloon or cute face painting when you go to an amusement park or so, no free piece of sausage at the supermarket, no extras for just being a cute kid.
30. I feel like I hardly have time anymore to do the things I really love.

31. Getting your own place is so expensive.
32. Having to listen to things like “you’re clock is ticking.” Seriously, mind your own damn business.
33. No time to just spend the afternoon playing video games or watching cartoons.
34. People constantly want something from you. Meanwhile, I just want to hide in a pillow fort.
35. I can’t order from the kids menu at a restaurant and it’s ridiculous. I’m not going to apologize for wanting pizza or fries instead of something fancy.
36. “Disney is for children!” Ummm, go f*** yourself!
37. That feeling of panic you get, when you see all the great things other people your age have achieved, and you start questioning all your life decisions.
38. You realize that school didn’t really prepare you for anything.
39. That little voice in your head telling you to exercise and eat healthy because you’re definitely not 16, anymore.
40. Just the thought of how much of your hard-earned money goes toward taxes.
41. Figuring out things like how to properly wash your clothes, cook, live an adult life without burning down the house. I don’t know how often I google the most simple things or just call my mom.
42. Grocery shopping becomes the highlight of your week, depending on the status of your bank account.
43. That not so good feeling when you occasionally still need financial support from your family.
44. Feeling super bad for not having your shit together.
45. Disney completely lied about love.

46. You can get into big trouble for playing pranks.
47. A good education does not guarantee you anything. The business world is an absolute pain.
48. You get judged for everything you do.
49. You can’t get away with self-made coupons as presents, anymore.
50. Life will always be a bit like high school.
51. Nobody packs your bag or suitcase and makes sure that you have everything.
52. You’re always expected to look presentable. Well, I will forever wear leggings and I don’t really care about bras, anymore.
53. That “damnit, my parents were right, after all” kind of feeling.
54. You get a lot more noise sensitive.
55. You run out of doing things for the first time. It’s such a special feeling.
56. Work. I have a 9 to 5 job and it doesn’t give me life, at all.
57. Your eyes get worse.
58. You can’t really go to a playground without having a child with you.
59. Feeling like an old lady when getting out of bed. Sometimes, I really have to roll to the side to even have a chance at getting up.
60. The balance between getting along with all of your co-workers and not wanting to spend all of your free time with them or have them know everything about you.

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Goodbye October 2017

Goodbye October,

and hello gray November, a month nobody really needs. I already don’t like how early it get’s dark outside and nature is starting to look so naked and boring. I’m really going to miss all the beautiful fall colors but I guess that’s just how it works. At least, we can now all start looking forward to Christmas. There are only eight weeks to go and since it’s my favorite holiday, I’m excited for it. I can’t wait to put up my tree but it’s still a little early for that.

October was not the best month but also not the worst. I had an infected cyst removed from my head (yeah, gross) and I wasn’t able to wash my hair for 9 days. It was so annoying but it’s all good now. I also had to take my car to the repair shop twice and without my car, I can barely function. My car not starting on a Monday morning, twice in a row, certainly wasn’t pleasant. It sucks being so dependant on things like a car. Halloween also made me a bit sad this year because Germany just doesn’t know how to do it. Or maybe it’s just where I live but there is nothing great going on, there are hardly  decorations to be found and I couldn’t even find a pumpkin patch to visit. I normally love this holiday but I just don’t live in the right country for it.

But aside from all of this, the month also had lots of good moments. I went to the amusement park again, which is always a good idea, especially when the weather is great. I had some dates with friends like going for a walk through the animal park nearby, visiting a comedy show, having a cup of tea in a nice café, catching a movie at the cinema and lovely things like this. I also had a sleepover with my godson and I always cherish our moments together. I laughed a lot, I relaxed a lot and yes, I watched so many TV shows – it’s crazy how happy it makes me.

Currently, I still have a few days off and I’m enjoying every second of not having to go to work. I love being a journalist but I don’t really enjoy being frustrated most of the time, so this break is much needed. Today, I’m just relaxing and binge-watching Gotham, but I already did fun things and there are more planned. I wish this week would never end. But overall, I hope this will be a good month. I’m looking forward to a few things and I’m definitely excited to get into the Christmas spirit.

Start working on your Christmas lists, dance, smile, buy something that you really love, spend time with your family, find a new TV show and binge-watch it, capture every fun moment with a camera, share some blog love, let go of toxic people, make compliments, eat lots of cake, discover new music, stop caring about what other people think, give your room a good clean, cuddle up with a fluffy blanket and a cup of tea and have a great November.

Tons of love,
Hailey 

Life

Lovely life
♥ pancakes  Gotham  the beautiful colors of fall  gay marriage is finally legal in Germany  Mean Girls day  holidays  spending time with my godson  dry shampoo  the moment you finally get into bed  home office  amusement parks  good comedy shows  vacation time  spending time with my friends  finding the right pair of shoes  long mornings in bed  productive days  Halloween movies  my nightlight projecting stars to my ceiling  a good breakfast  Fack ju Göhte  coffee dates  my favorite lemonade from McDonalds is back  making fun plans  puzzles  backpacks  lemon cake  a really clean room  donuts 

Songs I love
The xx – I Dare You
♪  Ed Sheeran – Perfect
♪  Taylor Swift – …Ready For It?

Interesting articles and videos
BLOGGER APPRECIATION POST by Me Cupcakes and Tea (sweetest thing ever!) // 49 Insane Behind-The-Scenes Secrets About The Making Of “Jersey Shore” // 29 Things That Will Make You Say “Damn, Girl, I Can’t Believe We Used To Do That!” // 24 Kinda Funny Things That Will Make Girls Say, “Yup, I Do That” // 40 Things That’ll Take You Back To A Time When You Had No Worries

My October posts
Goodbye September // 365 Days As An Au Pair I obviously had zero motivation…

My October  Instagram
Instagram October

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365 Days As An Au Pair

365 days as an au pair

At this time of year, I tend to get a bit sentimental because on September 29th, three years ago, I started my year as an au pair in America and these were the first days of a crazy adventure. I can still remember how nervous I was and how sick in my stomach I felt, even though I really wanted to go. While my mom was helping me pack my things and my best friend was there for moral support, I just sat in my room crying, unable to do anything. I felt completely overwhelmed with the whole situation, but there was no going back. It was all ok when we got to the airport, though. I was heading toward a new adventure and boy, an adventure it was.

Ever since I spent part of my childhood growing up in the US, I always wanted to go back. 20 years, I wanted nothing more and now the day was here. Me and everyone else thought that I would never come back to Germany. It went without saying that I would somehow find a way to stay and make my life-long dream come true. I definitely believed it because I went abroad with not one suitcase but two, my carry-on luggage and my mom sent me two humongous boxes with all the stuff I thought I needed to survive. I’m pretty sure that no other au pair in the entire universe has ever brought that much stuff. But I really thought that I would at least do the two possible years as an au pair and then find a job or something that would allow me to stay.

Au Pair San Francisco

I spent my year in the beautiful city of San Francisco, with a very nice family. (Look at all the beautiful pictures here and here.) I took care of a then three-month old little munchkin who gave me so much, throughout the year that I don’t even have words to describe my love for her. It was a huge responsibility and although I didn’t exactly have a ton of childcare experience, I knew that I could do this. To be honest, my maternal instincts pretty much kicked in immediately. Lucky me, she was one of the sweetest babies in the whole world. The only sad thing about her being so young at the time, is that she won’t remember me. Occasionally we still Skype but I don’t think she knows who I am. She was only 15 months old when I left and since then, she’s been with the fourth au pair, so chances are pretty slim. I hope that when I come back to visit one day, she may recognize my voice because I used to sing to her a lot. I doubt it but you never know. I just like to believe that after all this time we spent together, some memory of me is still inside of her.

Let me say this first, overall, I had a pretty good year. I’ve heard so many crazy stories about what other au pairs experienced with their families and I’m glad to say that I didn’t really have major problems. I mean sure, nothing is always perfect and sometimes things annoy you, but that is the normal way of life when you life with people. I was lucky because they did treat me like family, I was included in pretty much everything and most importantly, they trusted me 100% and that’s worth a lot when you work with other people’s kids. You spend so many hours with them and you don’t want to feel watched or mistrusted and you just hope to be respected. They did respect me and my opinion and that’s something I was really glad about. When this is the situation your kids are raised in, there has to be mutual trust, understanding and a good communication. There is nothing worse than parents who think they know everything better, even though you’re the one who spends the most time with their child and knows it inside out. It just isn’t right and nobody knows everything, so work together.

365 Days as an au pair

Of course there were moments when I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. It’s normal to feel this way with pretty much any job, once in a while. I also struggled with a lot of personal things that frustrated me. For instance realizing that living and working in the US didn’t feel right, anymore. For 20 years I was sure about what I wanted and suddenly, I didn’t want it anymore. I remember coming home for Christmas and basically spending most of the time crying because I just didn’t know what to do. A big part of me didn’t even want to fly back to the US, but once I start something, I make sure to get it done. It was hard knowing that all of a sudden, I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life, which was especially terrible because I knew that at some point, I had to go back home for good and face reality. These thoughts crept up on me once in a while and definitely provided a roller coaster ride of emotions. And when you have that mixed with moments where everyone is just getting on your nerves, it’s hard to keep your cool. Sure, you can talk to your host parents but you can’t just slam a door in their face or tell them to shut the hell up. You can maybe do that with your family at home, but as much as my host parents made me feel like family, they were not my family. I still worked for them and couldn’t just do or say whatever I wanted. Which is ok because it’s part of the deal and you just have to live with it. It’s just hard sometimes.

The way to get through it, is to find some great friends who you can just talk to, preferably who work as au pairs as well because nobody else can really understand the struggle. And you just try to make the best out of it and look for great adventures. As an au pair, I was more of an outsider, which wasn’t a real surprise. I was older that most of the others, I loved my lazy weekends and didn’t feel like having to party all the time, because I’m in another country. And I just preferred to spend my hard-earned money on travelling or the Disney Store. That made me so much happier than any club night ever could. I was also very lucky to have a great support system back home in Germany. There was hardly a week where I didn’t get a letter, postcard or package in the mail. Sure, we can all send a text or an email, but my friends and family actually all sat down to write to me and it always cheered be up, a lot.

365 days as an au pair

Aside from working, I got to travel quite a bit and experienced great trips because let’s be honest, San Francisco is an amazing city. It already started when I got on the plane to the States because the first stop was training school in New York. Sure, nobody was thrilled about the whole thing, but I met some pretty awesome girls and we just made the best of it and NYC is always a fun sight to see. In San Francisco, I tried to see a lot of the city and will never forget the feeling of seeing the Golden Gate Bridge for the very first time. I also fell in love with the water front and Pier 39 definitely became my happy place. I also tried to visit places that were not very popular in the travel guides and I’m pretty sure I got an overall good city experience. I also travelled to Colorado, Boston, Montana, Los Angeles, San Diego, Disneyland, Yosemite National Park (too many to list everything) and in my travel month, which happened right after my 12 months were over, my favorite travel buddy and I were all over the map. We went to Crater Lake (Oregon), Portland (Oregon), Seattle (Washington), Big Island (Hawaii), New Orleans (Louisiana), Jackson (Mississippi), Birmingham (Alabama), Atlanta (Georgia) and Portland (Maine), which you can read all about here. Even though I had some rough moments, I would’ve never experienced all of this, if I hadn’t worked as an au pair and I’m grateful for every single one of these trips, even though they may not all have been perfect.

I often look through all the photos I took in these 13 months and I look so happy in them because overall, it was an amazing experience. I think about riding the merry-go-round at Pier 39, about playdates at Golden Gate Park, I remember crossing the bridge with my bestie from Denmark, who I’m still good friends with, and I think about celebrating my birthday by swimming with dolphins. I will never forget all the times I heard my little munchkin laugh, how she took her first steps or how I taught her to give high-fives. And I will definitely never forget the moment I put her to bed for the last time ever and she said goodbye with a very loud fart. I think about the times my mother or my brother and his girlfriend came to visit me, or the fun I had at Disneyland. I remember making s’mores and watching the sun set at Ocean Beach. I smile when I think about driving down Lombard Street at night, when all the tourists were gone or about spending lots of money at Target, when I only needed like one thing and bought half the store. These memories and many more will never be forgotten because they made me so incredibly happy.

365 days as an au pair

It wasn’t the easiest year of my life but it helped me to figure things out and to learn a lot about myself. I’m glad I did it and I’m also very happy about the fact that I did it at 26 and not 19, right after school. I was ready for it and I did a good job. I can only recommend doing something like this because it will definitely teach you a lot. And really think about the decisions you make, no matter what your au pair agency or anyone else tells you. You have to feel what is right for you and what’s not. And don’t make the mistake of thinking that being an au pair is all just fun and games and that you basically just work a little with children and can travel and have fun all the time. That’s not what it’s all about. It’s part of it but it still is a real job that should be taken seriously.

This advice I can give you: Do what makes you happy, don’t let anyone treat you badly, don’t be scared, travel as much as you can, be a good role model, be prepared, find places you love and visit them, when you’re having a rough day, find real friends but don’t worry when you’re not part of the popular crowd – it’s overrated. Take a ton of pictures and not just with your phone. Take the kind that you can blow up poster size and hang on your walls. Take notes or keep a diary to make sure you don’t forget anything, fight through the hard times, be open minded, spend all your money on fun cause reality will hit you soon enough, cry when you feel like it and just enjoy the whole experience with all its ups and downs.

If you have any questions about how it’s like to work as an au pair, about travelling in the US, about San Francisco or whatever else you may want to know, always feel free to ask because a firsthand experience is definitely a good start to knowing what you’re getting yourself into.

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Goodbye September 2017

Goodbye September,

and hello wonderful October. I know that this is a month lots of people love and so do I. We’ve reached fall, which is a beautiful season and I hardly know a blogger who is not a fan. I won’t rat out the few who are not – you know who you are. ;) I pretty much always have my camera in the car with me now and you can see me stop here and there to take pictures of colorful trees and leaves. I don’t even want to know who passes by and thinks: “What the hell is she doing?!” Well, I’m a blogger, that’s what we do.

I was in a pretty good mood all month and in general, I think I’m doing very well. There were some stressful times at work but they pass and you survive. I just try to be more positive with everything and it does wonders. Sure, I have my moments where I just feel like crying but I blame that on pms because overall, everything is fine. Last month, I really tried to be more productive, which helps with the mood, as well. I did a lot more blogging than the months before and I’m very happy with that. One weekend, I bought myself a puzzle and did that instead of just laying in bed, doing absolutely nothing. I started using to-do-lists again and they really make a huge difference. I’m definitely planning on keeping it this way.

What else is absolutely great about fall are all the amazing shows back on TV. I’m an absolute junkie and easily watch 10 or more at a time. I’m gonna try not to spoiler anything but how freakin’ cool is it that Will&Grace is back? And it hasn’t changed at all, except for smartphones and Grinder. I laughed so hard. Chicago Fire gave me a heart attack within two minutes because it seemed like everyone was dead and I already had tears in my eyes (yes, I get emotionally invested). Shonda Rhimes did an amazing job with Grey’s Anatomy and How To Get Away With Murder as usual and I really hope that The Big Bang Theory never ever gets cancelled. And don’t even get me started on the Kardashians. Hi, I’m Hailey, and I have a problem.

I didn’t experience anything major exciting but that’s completely fine with me, since writing, watching TV shows, working on my Instagram and all these things make me really happy. I did attend two birthday parties though, which were pretty fun, and I went to McDonald’s, where they accidentally put two burgers into my bag. As you can imagine, it totally made my day, probably my whole week. If I sound like moron, I won’t apologize for it because it’s the little things that matter and which will ultimately bring you happiness. I also had a press appointment with a 90s popstar that I’ve been looking forward to for months and it was very successful and I’m a bit proud of myself for that one.

So that’s it for September. I really hope we’ll have a golden October, because us bloggers want to take a lot more pictures and it just gives the month a great overall feeling. I have a few things planned and who knows what will happen. I just hope to stay happy and have fun with whatever I’m doing.

Take lots of fall pictures, watch Hocus Pocus, get a scary costume, make time for cozy days and nights, smile, always bring your camera, do whatever makes you happy, say no if you’re not feeling it, do a fall cleaning, go to your favorite fast food place and eat yourself through the menu, do something creative like starting a scrapbook and have a great October.

Tons of love,
Hailey 

fall

Lovely life
♥ lemon cake  when you get a McDonald’s menu and they accidentally bag you a second burger  dancing like maniacs to lots of oldschool music with your friends when you cook a meal that you really like  working your way through a to-do-list  rainbows  a good laugh  so many good shows are back  meeting Kathy Kelly  that weekend feeling  discovering new music  compliments  Will&Grace  lots of writing  fall cleaning  feeling happy  au pair memories  eating doner kebab with my brother  putting together a puzzle  fresh sheets 

Songs I love
Karla Anderson – What Else Can I Do?
Shakespears Sisters – Stay With Me
♪  P!nk – What About Us

Interesting articles and videos
24 Truths That’ll Make Any Perpetually Single Person Say “That’s Me As Heck” // 24 Ways To Adult Better In September // 36 Websites That Will Change Your Entire Fucking Life // HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR BLOG: A LIST OF FREE RESOURCES // 28 Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up What It’s REALLY Like Being German // 18 Tweets That Will Make Anyone Aged 21-29 Laugh And Then Cry

My September posts
Goodbye August 2017 // What I Love About The Seasons // Mixtape #21 – Grab A Tissue // “It can’t be that hard to find a guy!” // My 101 Wishes – 1-25   My 101 Wishes – 26-50 // My 101 Wishes – 51-75 // My 101 Wishes – 76-101 // German Sayings Literally Translated Into English

My September Instagram
Instagram September

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