Being single can be hard. Dating can be hard. Just finding one guy to have a decent conversation with seems like rocket science to me. I’ve been out of the dating game for many years because I chose to be. Sure, it can be fun but to me, it’s so much work and more often than not a total waste of time. Where I live, I don’t really meet any guys who want the same in life as I do and at this point, I’m definitely not ready to make any compromises. So yeah, it’s complicated.
Occasionally, I meet someone, probably more likely on Tinder than in real life, and maybe I decide to give someone an actual chance. I’ve heard friends and family tell me that my expectations are way too high, that I’m superficial, I’m super complicated and so on. Honestly, I don’t agree. Sure, when I swipe through Tinder, I want to like the face but no, it’s not on top of the list. Attraction doesn’t just have something to do with how a person looks. And believe me, I haven’t dated one David Beckham after another. I WISH!
So sometimes, I think a guy is good-looking and sounds interesting at first. He may not be perfect, not my type whatever but well, I have my moments when I actually give someone a chance. I met a guy on Tinder (you may remember from THIS post) and for once, I wasn’t bored after 10 minutes. So I thought I’d give him a chance and not rule him out at the first mistake he makes. It was also a more complicated situation because we couldn’t meet in person, since he’s not in the country until October. So plenty of time to get to know each other, beforehand. Throughout the texting, more and more things happened that made me roll my eyes and I kept thinking “give him a chance, it’s different over text than in person” but I do think that the way someone writes does tell you a bit about how he is. And man, there are just so many things that you should just not do if you want a chance with me.
01. When he doesn’t have anything interesting to say about himself
Sometimes, it starts out ok. I mean, if I don’t give up after 10 minutes there must be something interesting there. You definitely get me with travelling. I feel like people who have stepped out of their familiar surroundings to explore the world are more interesting. They’ve seen new places, met new people and are much more open-minded than others. All of these aspects I value. But there is only so much you can say about your travels. Unless you travel 365 days a year you gotta come up with more to talk about. Hobbies, TV-shows, books, your job – anything that tells me more about you. One topic isn’t enough.
02. When he doesn’t ask interesting questions
I want to feel like someone really wants to get to know me. If I repeatedly tell you to ask me whatever you want and you can’t really come up with a simple question like “What is your favorite color?” do you even want to get to know me? And it doesn’t count if you ask “And you?” after giving me a not very satisfying answer to one of my questions.
03. When he asks stupid questions
Trust me, stupid questions exist, or at least stupid moments to ask them. The thing is, I don’t really have anything to hide so you can basically ask me what you want, but when we talk about relationships and the only thing you can come up with is “When was the last time you has sex?” after me telling you it’s been a few years since I’ve been involved with someone, it’s just weird. Seriously, what the hell does it matter if it was three days or three years ago?! But I guess a guys’ brain just works differently.
04. When he obviously knows nothing about irony or sarcasm
You cannot be with me if you don’t get a simple joke, a tease, anything. It’s difficult enough to have friends that you have to explain everything to but my boyfriend? No thank you. I can’t deal with it. This may sound mean but there is some truth in the saying that irony is the humor of intelligent people. Sorry not sorry.
05. When his spelling is absolutely terrible
I know that people often text differently than they talk or write but some things are just not acceptable. I’m a journalist so basic grammar and spelling skills is something I need a man to have. Afer a while it gets obvious if someone is just lazy, has problems hitting the right keys or simply doesn’t know how to spell. The word statue is NOT that difficult. And if you’re planning on travelling to Hawaii, at least learn how to spell it.
06. When he doesn’t have the balls to admit to people that we met on Tinder
It’s the 21st century so it’s not a crime to use apps to meet people. If you can’t tell people that we’ve met on Tinder grow some balls. And also don’t give me the typical “I already deleted Tinder. I hardly used it anyway. I’m not like that.” If you downloaded the app and swiped your way through, ending up finding me, you used the app and it’s ok. I don’t care if you just wanna hook up or find true love. It’s not illegal to have a profile. So chill.
07. When he only gives you short answers
I want to get to know you so tell me something about you. I know that many guys are not huge fans of texting but if it’s the only way to communicate, make an effort. But maybe it’s just because he doesn’t have more to say.
08. When he’s just being weird
When you text him something like “I hate you a bit for not having to work tomorrow” *insert wink emoji* and he just replies with “I can gladly live with that” and just leaves it at that for like 2 days, it’s weird. I mean, are you for real? I’m definitely getting you the book “Flirting for dummies” as a Christmas present.
09. When he tells you he doesn’t read
True story: I get a travel pic from inside some building I couldn’t recognize. Turns out it’s a popular library. DUDE, I don’t care about the freaking windows, I wanna see beautiful shelves full of books, people reading etc. And then when I ask about books you tell me that you may have read one or two of the Harry Potter books and that’s it? Cause you can’t do it all? I’ve once dated someone who never read a book in his life and I swore to myself that I would never do that again.
10. When he thinks it’s enough to send a bunch of pictures
Again, travelling only covers it for so long. Oh great, pic #52 from somewhere. It’s just not enough. Send me a picture and tell me a story, otherwise I don’t care anymore after the first five pictures.