Goodbye May and June 2021

Goodbye, May and June,

and, hello, July. There go another two months, and I still suck at writing. I should probably create a challenge or something for myself, like Blogtober but for the summer. Does anyone have ideas? If I’m honest, I do have the time, I just love hanging around, doing nothing but watching TV shows. I keep binging one after another. Currently watching The Bold Type and loving it. For some reason, I can’t seem to get my act together. I’m lame. Sorry, not sorry.

May-June 2021

I was scheduled to jump out of a plane today, but unfortunately, it got canceled. I’ve always wanted to go skydiving, and my friends gave me a gift certificate for my 30th birthday. Which was three years ago. I kinda chickened out for some time, but I would regret not doing it. So last year, when I was ready, everything was already fully booked. This year, I planned on jumping in April, but that got canceled due to Covid, and then I rescheduled for July, and well, the company filed for bankruptcy, so nothing is happening anymore. I don’t know – maybe it’s a sign from the universe. It just wasn’t meant to be.

I do hope I’ll get the money from the gift certificate, though. I would buy myself something nice. Still want to go skydiving, though, but preferably with someone joining me. Someday, I may meet an adventurous guy, and we could do this on vacation. That would be the dream. But for now, no jumping for me.

May-June 2021 2

Anyway, what about the last two months. I honestly don’t have much to write about. My life is still super boring. Covid numbers are a lot better, and lots of things are currently possible, but I’m just still not in the mood. I also love self-sabotaging, so that’s that. There were a few little get-togethers with my friends but nothing major. Chilling outside, walks – the usual. I feel like whenever I write these posts, I pretty much always write the same things.

My life is like groundhog day. I work a lot, watch TV shows, obsess over my dog, hang out with my mom, do too much online shopping – I bought myself a fabulous hot pink Moschino bag that killed my bank account a little, but I’ve always wanted one – let my apartment get totally chaotic and then hate everything and get into housewife mode, mope around, write to-do-lists, eat a lot, occasionally see a friend, go to the supermarket here and there, and all these other super interesting things. I live such a rockstar life. It’s insane. Totally worth writing a monthly post about it.

And don’t even get me started on the weather. My favorite thing to complain about. There have been super hot days that really had me miss my old basement room, now that I have a top-floor apartment. Fans helped a little. There have been super rainy days, and the doggy and I had to take shelter at the park several times. Super annoying. And temperatures have been going up and down like a roller-coaster. I will never get rid of my cold.

May-June 2021 4

Now let me tell you something more interesting. Mom and I booked a little vacation for September, and I am so excited. I can’t stop obsessing over it and just keep googling everything, printing out all the info I can find, and am already annoying my mom by telling her about all of it, over and over again. We are also taking the doggy, which I am really excited about. I love having him with me everywhere.

We’re staying in Germany, and I never really did a vacation in my own country before. I love traveling abroad, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that yet. So we’re doing a road trip to the North Sea, and I’m counting down the days. I hope we’ll be able to do it. In these times, you never know when everything goes to hell again. But I’ll try to stay positive because this is going to be so much fun, and it just has to happen. I need at least one week off from work where I don’t just sleep and mope around.

So that’s basically it. Nothing super interesting, but that’s just the way it is. I have good days and bad ones, and that’s fine. Always trying to get myself up and motivated again. Let’s see what the new month brings. Definitely not a jump out of a plane.

Tons of love,
Hailey 

May-June 2021 3

Books I loved
Matt Haig – The Midnight Library
Candice Carty-Williams – Queenie
Stephenie Meyer – Midnight Sun

Lovely life
Eurovision Song Contest my new Moschino bag good books finally getting my first vaccine red velvet cake good Chinese food Dr. Spencer Reid BBQ planning a vacation Disney deliveries my godson’s laughter The Bold Type visiting grandma pasta salad time with friends hanging out with my mom those popping toys for de-stressing being productive watermelon

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Eurovision Song Contest 2021

Eurovision Song Contest 2021

©NPO/NOS/AVROTROS

OMG, I can’t believe that the Eurovision Song Contest is actually back. I kinda thought it would get canceled again this year but was absolutely thrilled when I found out it was actually happening. I really missed this cheesy competition last year. I know there was some alternative, but I didn’t feel like watching it. I’m only here for the real deal.

As usual, I had no clue what to expect. I don’t inform myself beforehand, and I only watch the main show and then put in my two cents. I also always have a spreadsheet where I can give out points and rank everyone. Yeah, I am nerdy like that.

Anyway, this is my opinion, and I don’t want to offend anyone. Everybody has a different taste in music, and that is exactly how it should be. So don’t hate me if I don’t like your favorite act. It’s nothing personal.

ESC 5

© NPO/NOS/AVROTROS NATHAN REINDS

The opening was great because “Venus” is a fab song, and the remix was really good. And I was a fan of the show getting started super fast. It was lovely to just have an evening fun. Overall, I didn’t love anyone. And was there a memo that said, “wear a short, silver, glittery outfit”? I expected more craziness. I did rank everyone but wasn’t satisfied with any of it because even my higher ranks didn’t blow my mind. Oh well, at least we didn’t have to endure Madonna again.

So my top five were Portugal, Finland, Malta, Russia, and Cyprus. The ones I really disliked were Moldova and Ukraine. Sorry, not sorry! Again, there just wasn’t anyone who blew me away. Italy winning did come as a surprise, though. I mean, the public vote for them was insane. Still shocked, but that’s just the beauty of music: there is something for everyone, and nobody should feel bad. It’s a music competition, and it should be about having a fun evening. I’m not mad. My country got overall 3 points. Whatever, I had a blast. But now I’m wondering, how long until the UK blames their 0 points on Meghan Markle?

Anyway, I hope you had a great time, as well. Would love to hear your take on the whole thing. If your favorite act won, congrats, if not, life goes on. I’m only sad that we all have to wait a whole year for the next round.

Eurovision Song Contest

© EBU/THOMAS HANSES

01. Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo
She’s lucky that she was the first one to wear a short, silver, glitter dress. I mean, what’s up with that? She looked hot, loved her haircut, and for me, it was one of the better performances. Although very Lady Gagaish. I constantly was singing “Bad Romance” in my head. It could have been a bit more unique, but I love Gaga, so whatever. I thought she was on fire.

02. Albania: Anxhela Peristeri – Karma
For a second, I thought she just stole the outfit. I also didn’t understand that choice, since the song is pretty dramatic, and the outfit, as well as her performance, did not match that at all. However, I did feel her, despite not understanding a word. I liked the oriental touches of the song.

03. Israel: Eden Alene – Set Me Free
Giiiirl looked fierce! It was a fun performance, very cool, good dancing, and the lights/background looked fab. She reminded me a bit of Ariana Grande. Probably cause of her petite figure and her hitting those high notes.

04. Belgium: Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place
I did not feel it at all. Not a fan of her voice, it was boring, and it felt like trying too hard to be dramatic.

05. Russia: Manizha – Russian Woman
The song sure had a fun beat, and I don’t know, I just didn’t expect any of it. I don’t even really know what to write about the performance. It was different but super cool, and I did rank it pretty high. The message, as well as including an online female choir, worked well.

06. Malta: Destiny – Je Me Casse
I definitely enjoyed that performance. Because yaaaassss, queen. She’s got some serious vocals. And she’s gorgeous. The dancers were hot, loved the hot pink. And yeah, I’m always here for a good girl power song.

07. Portugal: The Black Mamba – Love Is On My Side
I had goosebumps from the start. I mean, the music person in me was like yay. The ESC person in me was like I need more action. It was very soulful, I always love a good guitar solo, and in the end, I ranked this performance the highest because it was pretty much the only one that touched me.

08. Serbia: Hurricane – Loco Loco
Typical ESC but not that great. Lots of hair, makeup, and glitter. The show was fun but nothing special.

09. United Kingdom: James Newman – Embers
I guess the song was ok, but James just sounded like he was out of breath all the time, and he looked like he was wearing leather pajamas.

10. Greece: Stefania – Last Dance
Can somebody explain to me how a song is about dancing, and then, there is hardly any dancing during the performance? That doesn’t make sense to me. Can she even dance? A beautiful face, but that was it for me.

11. Switzerland: Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers
Not sure what to say here. I often like the slower titles, but I didn’t feel this at all. It felt like a little over-the-top drama club performance. Nope, not a fan.

12. Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið – 10 Years
The 80s glee club decided to hit the stage. How sad for them not to be there live on stage. It was fun, very retro.

13. Spain: Blas Cantó – Voy A Quedarme
Beautiful performance, but I did not have goosebumps, which I must get with emotional songs. Otherwise, I’m out when it comes to the ESC. A very talented and good-looking man, but it wasn’t enough.

14. Moldova: Natalia Gordienko – Sugar
Oh wow, another silver glitter outfit. Not much of a voice there and not enough show to cover it up. I liked this performance the least.

15. Germany: Jendrik – I Don’t Feel Hate
Well, what can I say? I’m definitely not someone who just roots for my country because I live here. If it’s not good, it’s not good. I think Jendrik is a sweet guy, but I thought I was watching a segment on Sesame Street. It was fun, energetic and his message is an important one, but oh my…

16. Finland: Blind Channel – Dark Side
I’m not so much into heavy metal, but I thought they did well. Found myself doing a bit of mild headbanging. Mixing rap and rock is always a good idea. They sure burned down the stage.

17. Bulgaria: Victoria – Growing Up Is Getting Old
Cute is the word. Beautiful, sweet, obviously talented, but not very interesting.

18. Lithuania: The Roop – Discoteque
I had some Depeche Mode vibes, but in a crazy way. They certainly made me laugh out loud. At least they were unique and entertaining. Not my thing, though.

19. Ukraine: Go_A – Shum
Interesting is the word, but I did not like them at all. My ears hurt a bit. Definitely something different, which is always good, but some things you just feel and some things you don’t. My best friend loved them, and I wanted to turn off the TV, so that’s that. The flute was the best thing about the whole thing.

20. France: Barbara Pravi – Voilà
Sure, French chansons are beautiful, and they always create a very special atmosphere. The performance was not spectacular enough, and I don’t know, too dark for the song. And her high notes were not so fab. The whole performance felt more like being at a poetry slam.

21. Azerbaijan: Efendi – Mata Hari
Typical ESC: beautiful woman, sexy outfit, ok voice. Pretty boring. Lots of boom but no pow.

22. Norway: Tix – Fallen Angel
In his head, he was a wannabe member of an average 90s boyband. Wings, glitter shackles, headband… Nope.

23. The Netherlands: Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age
It would’ve been a good gospel performance for church. Not enough for a big stage like that. Maybe more African elements in the music, the performance, the outfits were missing. The song did remind me a little of the Lion King, though.

24. Italy: Måneskin – Zitti E Buoni
What was up with the 70s inspired outfits? Between the two rock acts, I thought Finland was a lot better. But Italy’s singer was kinda hot. He has a gorgeous face. The song was ok, I guess.

25. Sweden: Tusse – Voices
Why didn’t they put up more of a show?! I mean, it was a solid performance, good voice, good song, but not in any way spectacular. Nothing to knock you off your feet.

26. San Marino: Senhit feat. Flo Rida – Adrenalina
Definitely a fan of the beats, the oriental sounds, and hello, Flo Rida. His flow always makes me want to party, and it was a good ending to all the performances.

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Welcome To My New Apartment

To be honest, I guess it’s not that new anymore, since I’ve been living here for over four months now. I’m just still bad with blogging. I blame it on all the housework that I now have to do. And although I don’t clean daily like a maniac, it can be a lot. But that’s what I get for getting such a big-ass place. It’s beautiful, though, and I love it.

w1

I must say that looking for apartments isn’t as fun as it sounds. It’s pretty stressful and ridiculous, and I’m just glad that I got lucky. I really did. I remember walking into the place for the first time, and I was in love immediately. Do you know what is also not fun at all? Moving, furnishing, and decorating everything during a pandemic. I had to order so many things online that I eventually got sick of online shopping. Never thought it was possible. But eventually, I got everything I needed. And it would’ve probably all gone faster with lots of helpers, but we kept it inside the family and still did a pretty good job. Not only with my apartment. Our whole family moved, and the entire house had to get emptied. Never doing that again.

Anyway, I’m not really known for being patient, so I wanted to get things done as fast as possible. Didn’t want to live out of boxes for months or not have proper lamps up a year later. It’s just not me. I already started ordering furniture back in October/November, which was a good idea, but there was so much more stuff I needed. Again, it’s a big place. The first new thing I got was a coffee table because that totally makes sense, right?! It all worked out, though. I just fell in love when I saw it. But just a tip: Even if you fall in love, think about it. Cause getting a table with a black glass surface was not smart. Anyway, by the end of February, I had everything. Lamps, pictures, plants, carpets – just all of it. Luckily, I had started collecting small things over the past few years, like kitchen stuff, towels, etc. Made it a lot easier. And I went nuts for rosegold. It just happened, and I’m not sorry.

w2

I have a big living/dining room with an open kitchen, a bathroom, bedroom, pantry, and my dream office with all my books, DVDs, my Disney collection, and just anything for hobbies, etc. Every time I step into it, it makes me happy. It’s colorful and fun. I also have a beautiful balcony that goes around my whole apartment. I have three doors in different rooms to enter it. And the view is beautiful. I sure got lucky.

So yeah, now I’m living here by myself, which is pretty nice. Also weird during a pandemic. I haven’t had many people over yet. I’m just so endlessly grateful that I got to take the family dog. And the two of us are living a pretty good life. The thing is, without him, I would be lost. I’m really good by myself, but this situation is just something else. And I know that without him, I wouldn’t have left the house in like four months. I know me. I’d just be in bed all the time and do a hell lotta nothing. But with the doggy, I have to get up, go outside, be active, and it helps a lot. It’s been a pretty big change, though, caring for him all by myself, but we adjusted pretty well. Good thing there is a park right around the corner, and I love going there. We now do almost everything together, and we’re just two peas in a pod. And, boy, was he happy when I finally got my couch. Sharing an armchair didn’t work for us.

w3

Anyway, I don’t really have anything else to say cause every day is pretty much groundhog day, but I’m sure that’s the reality for a lot of people. I sleep, work from home, cook a lot, get all my household chores done. My mom did my laundry for the first two months cause my washing machine didn’t get here, and then it wasn’t installed properly, but I now do it myself and feel very accomplished every time. We go for walks, run errands in the city, mostly on foot, now that I live somewhere a little bigger than a small village, and we’re overall doing pretty well. Notice how I write “we”? Yeah, it’s always the doggy and me.

I love having my own kitchen and bathroom and just all this space to myself. I can do whatever I want and also not do anything if I don’t feel like it. The postman has already seen me in pretty much every state, and the neighbors are ok I guess. It would be amazing, though, if they learned that doors don’t constantly have to be slammed. 

I took a video before and after putting it all together, which I would like to share. Cause yeah, I sure am proud of how everything turned out. And since I can’t invite lots of people yet, I at least want to show off a bit online. I have also done several room tours over video chat with my friends. Remember that show MTV Cribs? I’ve always loved it, and it always feels a bit like it. Anyone wanna send a camera team around? Kidding. Or not. And yes, I’m nor so great at filming.

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Goodbye April 2021

Goodbye, April,

and hello, May. Also, Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms out there. Thank you for everything you do. You’re amazing! Also, hi mom, I love you.

Mix April 2021 1

How can it be May already?! And 2021 is still pretty shit. Seriously, I hardly have anything fun to report cause we’re still in lockdown. Nobody really understands anything anymore, and it all mostly doesn’t seem to make much sense, but at least, numbers are finally starting to go down, and I hope it will continue. It would be nice to be able to have a little fun this summer. I don’t want the whole world, just some little adventures here and there. I am also finally registered for a vaccine appointment, and it would be lovely to get this show on the road. It will most likely still be a while, but I never thought I’d even be eligible to register at this point – Germany is pretty slow – so I am happy with that.

Enough with the whole covid dilemma. I’m trying to think of fun things, which sure is better for my mental health. I’ve definitely had some low days, which is normal, and I’m sure, especially right now, many people have those days when everything sucks. Isolation just does things to you. I’m not someone who is usually out and about all the time but being mostly alone can get a bit depressing. I’m glad to have the doggy. Without him, I would be lost. I also see my mom every week, but that’s pretty much it. And with the weather mostly not being great – even the snow came back – meeting my friends is not really possible cause we don’t want to hang out indoors. Better safe than sorry.

Mix April 2021 2

However, I did have one absolutely amazing day. Which I still can’t believe actually happened. It wasn’t planned, but sometimes everything turns out to be fab. Just like that. The weather was supposed to be great for one day, and I planned on actually leaving the house – which I don’t do much except for walks with the dog and the occasional grocery shop – to meet with my brother and go for a walk. But then I got a call from my best friend, who had moved to another country this year, telling me that she was in town, had some time and would stop by in like ten minutes. My feelings were all over the place. I miss her so much all the time, and then she was just there, we hung out a bit, and it was wonderful. We actually saw each other twice that day. Long story, but it happened, and we laughed, talked, exchanged birthday gifts, and I am still high on endorphins.

But, even though that was the best part of that day, it wasn’t the only fun I had. I did go for a walk with my brother, and the local place we went to is just beautiful, and I enjoyed it very much. Then I stopped by at my other besties place to hang out with her and my godson. We played in the sandbox, and at the end of the day, I had sand in my shoes, my jacket, and that’s just the way it’s supposed to be. When you have sand everywhere, you know it’s been a good day. And when I was back home, my mom came by, cause we had to take care of some things and as mentioned above, my best friend came over again. It was just perfect: sunshine, lots of people I love dearly, fun, laughter, and all the good things. By the end of the day, I was exhausted but endlessly happy. I’m not used to seeing so many people anymore, being out all day, enjoying life. It was perfection.

Mix April 2021 3

It’s honestly the little things that matter so much. And just one good day is better than none. I’m trying to focus on the good things, and staying busy with things I love doing. I made myself a long to-do list that keeps me active and prevents my mental health from spiraling. I try and do something every day, do my work, take care of household stuff, talk to friends and family over the phone or do video calls, listen to 90s music, read, sleep a lot, eat everything I love, watch all my TV shows, engage in too much online shopping, and just try and make the best of it. I have a week off from work this month, and I’m planning on not sitting at home all day long.

Focus on the little things that make you happy. Try to keep busy. If you’re allowed to enjoy a bit more freedom in your country again, just go for it. Stay safe, but go for it. But also don’t feel the need to force yourself. You’re ready when you’re ready. Try thinking good thoughts. I know it’s hard, I’m struggling a lot with it, but I try, and it does make a difference. And if you’re feeling low, know that it’s ok. Talk about it, cry, try to let it all out. You’re feelings are valid. Never forget that.

Tons of love,
Hailey

balkon 1

Lovely life
reading wonderful books doggy cuddles beautiful spring days late birthday presents scenic walks strawberries holiday’s homemade pizza Criminal Minds children’s laughter playing in the sand spending time with your best friends cute stickers online shopping new clothes a good burrito making plans ticking things off of your to-do-list cake funny memes candy boxes gourmet food visiting the local market free books days that make you smile for weeks

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Goodbye February and March

Goodbye, February and March,

and hello, April and SPRING!!! Surprise, surprise, the world is still a shitshow, but at least the weather is nice. Sometimes at least. It just can’t make up its mind. But sunshine does make everything a lot better. And I really don’t want to see snow anymore. We had enough of that. Or ice. Do you know what happens when suddenly everything is frozen? Yup, idiot me forgets about it and falls on her balcony. I sure as hell got lucky. But it’s been almost two months, and there is still a small wound left. But I survived. Although I have to say, it’s scary realizing that if something happens to me, I’m living by myself now. Oh well, clumsy me just has to be a bit more careful.

Feb-Mar 2021 1

Well, I’m again at a point where I want to tell you about my interesting life, but there is just nothing going on. The only people I mostly see are my parents. Occasionally a friend to go for a walk or something. Which, when the sun is out, and you can actually talk face to face, feels so good. I still miss hugging them. Overall, I guess it’s still the little things. Like a trip to a shop. One that is NOT a supermarket. But with the lockdown rules constantly changing, I honestly have no idea where I’m allowed to go, which shops are open, what is forbidden – it’s all very confusing. But yeah, I managed a trip to a shopping mall and was allowed to enter some stores, which was just lovely. And when you have the store pretty much to yourself, it’s weird but also nice. Just roaming through a bookshop, taking in the smells at Rituals, looking for some more bits and pieces for my apartment, and not having to order online was simply wonderful.

My birthday was in February. I am usually a total fan. And yeah, it was nice but also nothing special. It’s just the way life is now. I had my parents over, ate yummy cake, got lots of fab presents. I also didn’t cry. I tend to get into a weird mood on the actual day, and I can never really explain why. It just happens. But this year was ok. My expectations are always too high, and every year, I feel like like I have to do something special. Well, not an option this year. So everything was chill, I was on some fun calls with my girls and shared cuddles with my doggy.

Feb-Mar 2021 2

In general, I try to practice more self-care. It’s so important. And since I’m finally done with the apartment – pictures are on the walls, plants have found their place, everything is where it belongs – I have so much time for all the things I love. Lots of binge-watching TV shows – currently watching Scandal and YASSS, Olivia Pope, you go, girl! – reading lovely books, skincare, good food, much sleep, nice walks, sitting in the sun, and so on. I definitely have my down days here and there, but I get up again and focus on what is good for me. Not always easy. But we all have our moments. Overall, I’m doing ok. As long as my loved ones and I are healthy, it’s all fine. More or less.

I also took a covid test for the first time. Still not sure if I now have a hole in my brain or not. Anyway – it was negative. In Germany, you can now get tested once a week for free, even without symptoms. And I like being on the safe side, so I will do that regularly. I also learned that you can remove fresh ink stains from your sofa with hairspray. And I’m thinking about paying someone to clean my apartment cause I hate it, and it’s just too freakin’ big. Not actually gonna happen, but the thought is nice.

Feb-Mar 2021 3

Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m now gonna continue enjoying this long Easter weekend. Sleep a lot, eat a lot, read a lot. Spend some time with my parents and the rest is all quality me-time. Unfortunately, it has gotten pretty cold again, but I’ll survive. I’m still having a good time, and hopefully, so will you.

Continue staying safe. Make sure you are doing ok. If not, that is ok too. Struggling is nothing to be ashamed of. Find the little things that put a smile on your face. Enjoy every ray of sunshine. Read good books. Eat plenty of ice cream. Hang in there. It must get better at some point.

Tons of love,
Hailey

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Lovely life
cute presents Scandal sunny days running errands by foot selling things you don’t need anymore Tiegerente cherry blossom scent little trips a negative covid test ice cream visiting some of my favorite shops Rituals a good Döner quality time with the doggy when mom cooks for me reading good books that ticktock pasta recipe seeing my grandma a good fast food meal rainbow colors spending a little time with friends finishing my apartment Disney Store deliveries my wonderful bed lake views Chinese food buying whatever the hell I want bookstores my birthday cake Joey + Pacey puzzles a good perfume big plants spring apple pancakes self-care the little things Disney castle collection chill days

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