The Undateable Girl's Diary

Love Wins – Another Step Toward Equality

Posted on July 2, 2015 by haileyjaderyan

Last Friday, something fabulous happened. US Congress finally voted for marriage equality in America and personally, I couldn’t be happier for all these wonderful people who deserve it so much. I know, so much has been written and said about this topic but I feel that there is still so much that has to be done and it is something that is very close to my heart. I have wonderful gay people in my life and I want them all to be able to live just the way they want to live. Love is something special and it should be celebrated however people want to celebrate it. Just thinking about loving someone so much that you want to spend the rest of your life that person, but the law does not allow you to get married, truly breaks my heart.

I have always had huge problems with injustices and when I witness discrimination of any sort, I am always the first one to speak up. I will fight for you and you don’t even have to be my friend to have me do this. Especially in my teenage years, I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble for speaking my mind and for standing up for myself and others. Many people can’t handle someone speaking the truth or calling them out but I couldn’t care less. If you believe in something, you should not be afraid to fight for it because otherwise, things will never change. If it wasn’t for strong fighters, women would still not be allowed to vote, African-Americans would still be segregated and homosexuals would still not be allowed to get married anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, these are only a few things that have been reached, but there is still so much injustice in this world that we should not forget about. However, every positive step toward a new direction is good and should be celebrated.

Having reached marriage equality all over the US is something very important because it is a very big and powerful country. It is also a country that is incredibly diverse and still has a lot of issues because of it. You can find the most liberated people ever, but you can also find the worst discriminating people you will ever meet. So for Congress to take the next step and to set a sign for homosexual couples is exactly what this country and the world needed, because there are still many countries that have to follow. Unfortunately, the country I was born in hasn’t reached this step, yet. It upsets me because I feel like Germany is a very good country in so many ways and still, there is no marriage equality. So far, 11 European countries have ruled for marriage equality since 2000 and I find it highly frustrating that my country isn’t one of them. Conservatism is still a huge problem all around the world because the result of it is discrimination. This is about benefits, this is about equality, this is simply about love.

The main reason why I am addressing this topic is the fact that even though marriage equality is slowly being officially acknowledged by different countries, it is not celebrated and accepted by everyone. There is still so much discrimination going on, to an extent that makes me incredibly sad. I will never understand how people just think that it is ok to hate on others for being different. Who cares who somebody is in love with? Who cares what skin color someone has? Who cares what religion a person is devoted to? It is something that I cannot get my head around. How full of yourself can you be to think like that? There are so many cold-hearted, cruel and ugly people in this world who think they are so much better than others. I just never understand their justification. My favorite arguments are those taken from the bible. There are passages that people have used to declare black people as bad people. Adam and Eve demonstrate that men and women belong together etc. But oh well, these people also believe in talking snakes and virgins getting pregnant so of course, they are right to judge.

One of the most recent examples is a shop in Tennessee, whose owner put up a sign that states “No Gays allowed.” Wow, and here I thought segregation was over. Instead of putting signs up with “black only” and “white only,” are people going to put up signs with “straight only” and “gay only” up now or what? This is honestly ridiculous. And of course the owner argues with the bible and the US Constitution, which is as usual complete nonsense because we all know that the US has never fully lived up to it’s founding groundwork that this country was build on. ALL MEN WERE CREATED EQUAL! Exept for maybe anyone who is not white, straight, rich, you name it. The bible also tells you to LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. But who cares about these important passages, right? There is no justification to discriminate others. Not in the bible, not in the law, not anywhere. It is unjust. It is outdated. It is wrong.

I feel sickened that we have to live in a world where nobody is allowed to be who they want to be. A world, in which nobody is allowed to love who they want to love. Nobody is allowed to believe in what they believe in. And some people were just born with the wrong skin color. If you are a close reader of my blog, you’ve read this before. It is alright to have your opinion because everyone is entitled to have one. However, it is not ok to treat other people badly because of it. You don’t like gay people? You don’t have to be friends with them. You have a problem with Christians, Muslims or any other religion? Nobody asked you to convert. The world would be a much happier place if an equal groundwork would exist for every human being and if people would simply let each other live however they want to live. Don’t try to change others and focus on your own life.

I fully support Gay Pride. I hope that one day, every person will be allowed to love whoever they want to love. Everyone deserves to be happy. I’ve made some bad experiences in my life but still, I believe that love is something beautiful and everyone should feel and express it how they want to. Ask yourself what love means to you and imagine someone wanting to take it away from you. Think about how it would feel not to be able to get married to the person you would die for. People, keep your minds and hearts open or else, you will miss out on so much beauty in this world. Life is too short to worry about what others do or like or think. DO YOU and let others do the same.

BE PROUD!

Sources:
http://www.marriageequality.org/
http://www.vox.com/supreme-court-marriage-equality-global

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Posted in Statement | Tagged African-Americans, color, conservative, Constitution, current events, discrimination, equality, fight, flag, gay, Germany, global, history, homosexual, law, liberal, marriage, men, modern, news, open, politics, pride, racism, rainbow, religion, revolution, Statement, strong, TV Madness, USA, women, world | Leave a comment

How to Enjoy Traveling

Posted on June 26, 2015 by haileyjaderyan

Throughout my life, I haven’t really traveled a lot and I really regret it. I mean, I did see some nice places but I could’ve been on tour a lot more. For some reason, I always found excuses to not catch the next flight to somewhere awesome – too expensive, not the right people to travel with, no time, traveling alone is annoying, which by the way is sooo nice, etc. I am really glad that I have changed my mind about this and now, I enjoy traveling whenever I can. In general, I started saying “yes” more often in 2014 and so far it has been great. In the last 11 months, I’ve been on 17 planes and for me that is definitely a lot. Ever since I started working as an au pair, I’ve been trying to see as many places as possible and I will be on at least 6 more planes this year.

What I have noticed is that my whole way of traveling has changed. When I went to London last year, I was super nervous, completely stressing out about luggage regulations, I was afraid that I messed up the bookings for my best friend and me and I was just a little on edge the whole time. Now, I am a completely different person. I am still highly prepared and triple-check everything but I am a lot more relaxed. I also got a lot better and faster at packing. I just hope that they will never put my carry-on luggage on the scale because then I would be screwed, but other than that, I simply enjoy the whole experience. I’ve always loved airports and I was never afraid of getting on a plane. After all, I was only a few months old on my first trans-atlantic flight. It just gives me a sense of freedom and I feel so cosmopolitan, every time the passport is in my hand and my pink carry-on suitcase is ready to roll.

The key to a good travel experience is to be prepared and to have the right gear and system. It doesn’t matter if you travel by plane, bus, train or car, you should always travel as comfortable as possible. There is nothing worse than wearing the wrong clothes, not finding your passport or failing to fall asleep, even though you are endlessly tired. So here are some tips that will guarantee you a better travel experience.

1. Dress in comfortable clothes
Unless you have to rush to an important business meeting after you land, dress as comfortable as possible. When I travel, I’m always in leggings, yoga pants or sweatpants. Take a hoodie because it can get cold and wear shoes that you can easily take off. It’s usually the first thing I do and I always carry a pair of fuzzy socks in my bag, just in case my feet get cold.

2. Put together a travel kit
My best friend gave me a travel kit for Christmas and it was the best gift ever. It came with a standard interior and I added some things that can be useful. I can only recommend putting one together for yourself because that way, you have everything you need in one place. Furthermore, you don’t always have room to store your gigantic handbag near you, so it’s great to have everything in a small case that fits into the car door, the plane seat etc. Don’t choose one that is too big. Here is a list with some of the things I just need in my travel kit.

Sleeping mask: I swear that it works wonders. Plus people actually leave you alone.
Neck pillow: It doesn’t really fit into my travel kit but it definitely has to go on my trips. At first, the kit included one that you can blow up but now I bought myself an actual neck pillow.
Headphones: I have an extra set because not all airlines provide you with some and my big ones don’t always fit into my bag.
Medicine etc.: Sleeping pills, Tylenol, Calcium, anti itch cream, something against feeling ill, eye liquids and more. Yes, I carry a little drugstore with me but there is nothing worse than feeling bad while traveling.
Necessities: tampons, hair band, tissues, gum, chap sticks, paper and pen, stain remover pen, perfume etc. And definitely band-aids, since I am clumsy as hell. As you can probably tell, I like to be prepared for everything.
Blanket: I love to bring a blanket along on trips because I never know when I get cold and you don’t always get one when you are on a plane. The last time they handed some of them out, I just kept it because it easily fits into my bag.

3. Be organized
If there is one thing I love to do, it is to organize. It gives me a satisfactory feeling and it makes everything a little more safe. No matter what I do or plan, I want it to be perfect and without problems. I am currently putting together a whole travel month for a friend and me, which includes three flights, 9 cities, car rentals and more and it would never work if I wasn’t organized. I am a huge fan of travel wallet because it keeps everything in one place and I don’t trust technology. I still think it’s strange to scan your phone and that it works like an actual boarding pass. Another part of being organized is knowing where your things are. Everyone should know by now that you have to take out laptops, fluids etc. during security checks and it kills me to have people in front of me who take forever to get their things out of their bags. I mean, how hard can it be to pack in way that you know where everything is?! Trust me when I say that it will make your trip so much easier if you organize everything.

4. Make sure to entertain yourself
There is nothing worse than to be bored while traveling and there are a million things you can do to prevent this from happening. My carry-on luggage is never light for exactly that reason. I bring books, notebooks, my laptop (I got myself a tablet now so it will be a little less weight), maybe a Gameboy or Nintendo DS etc. And then many aircrafts have an entertainment system so I really don’t get how people can get bored. That’s what I love most about traveling – I have time to relax and do things I love and often don’t have time for. When I sit at an airport, I love to read a book and I get a lot of writing done on planes, and a round of good old Tetris never hurts, as well.

5. Buy yourself cute travel accessories
For a little shopaholic like me there is nothing better than to come up with reasons to buy more things. Now that I travel so much, I just keep buying cute travel accessories and I love to use them. Just seeing them makes me so happy. I should probably get a new passport cover because mine is really old but it reminds me of a nice vacation in Virginia, when my dad was still living there. I also love cute luggage tags, my pink carry-on suitcase and currently, I just buy everything that has maps on it, including travel journals and notebooks. So maybe you don’t need all of this but it makes traveling so much more fun. Always travel in style.

Posted in Travel the World | Tagged accessories, adventure, airplane, airport, blanket, books, comfortable, discover, dream, entertainment, explore, flight, fun, Game Boy, luggage, map, new places, Nintendo DS, notebooks, organization, packing, pillow, preparation, relax, sightseeing, style, Tetris, travel kit, Travel the World, trip, world, write | Leave a comment

Mixtape #5 – Movie Soundtracks

Posted on May 30, 2015 by haileyjaderyan

We all love movies and we all have our favorites, but just think about how they would be without music? I’m sure they would only be half as good. Music is part of the atmosphere, the setting, the overall feeling. What are love scenes without a romantic song?! I often wish that my life would have a soundtrack and every time something happens, the perfect song would come on. I think that would be awesome. Here is a list of my favorite songs from movies and I also included the movie they were used in. Oh and don’t worry, it’s not another list of Disney songs. I chose my two favorites but I do love them all.

01. Cruel Intentions: Placebo – Every You Every Me
02. Pocahontas: Judy Kuhn – Colors of the Wind
03. Dirty Dancing: Eric Carmen – Hungry Eyes
04. Moulin Rouge: Christina Aguilera and Lil’ Kim and Mya and Pink – Lady Marmelade
05. Freaky Friday: Lindsay Lohan – The Ultimate
06. 10 Things I Hate About You: Letters to Cleo – I Want You To Want Me
07. Top Gun: Berlin – Take My Breath Away
08. Clueless: Jilll Sobule – Supermodel
09. Selma : John Legend and Common – Glory
10. The Beauty and the Beast: Angela Lansbury – Tale As Old As Time
11. The Breakfast Club: Simple Minds – Don’t You Forget About Me
12. The Great Gatsby: Lana Del Rey – Young and Beautiful
13. Space Jam: R.Kelly – I Believe I Can Fly
14. The Bodyguard: Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You
15. Cruel Intentions: Counting Crows – Colorblind
16. Armageddon: Aerosmith – I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
17. Set It Off: En Vogue – Don’t Let Go (Love)
18. The Hobbit – The Desolations of Smaug: Ed Sheeran – I See Fire
19. Flashdance: Michael Sembello – Maniac
20. Batman Forever: Seal – Kiss From a Rose
21. 8 Mile: Eminem – Lose Yourself
22. Dangerous Minds: Coolio – Gangsta’s Paradise
23. Robin Hood: Bryan Adams – (Everything I Do) I Do It For You
24. The Wizard of Oz: Judy Garland – Somewhere Over the Rainbow
25. Fame: Irene Cara – Fame
26. Grease: John Travolta & Olivia Newton John – Summer Nights
27. Pretty Woman: Roxette – It Must Have Been Love
28. Men in Black: Will Smith – Men in Black
29. Romeo and Juliet: Des’ree – Kissing You
30. She’s All That: Fatboy Slim – The Rockafeller Skank

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Posted in Mixtape ♬ | Tagged artists, atmosphere, band, Batman, Clueless, Cruel Intentions, Dirty Dancing, emotions, Fame, feelings, Grease, list, Mixtape, mood, movies, music, Pocahontas, songs, soundtrack, The Beauty and the Beast, The Great Gatsby | 1 Comment

#SingleGirlProblems – 15 reasons why I am an undateable girl

Posted on May 25, 2015 by haileyjaderyan

I’ve been single for so long that I really have to do some math to even know how many years it has been. I am 27 and I don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. Some people probably pity me for this but they really shouldn’t. Not everyone is made for relationships. And some people should just better stay single because they have really bad taste in men and with that, I mean myself. At some point, I just decided to stay away from all of them and live my life without all the trouble. I’m not ruling it out forever but it will take one hell of a man to make me change my mind and to handle me.

1. My bed and me are in a seriously relationship
On rare occasions, I think about how nice it would be to cuddle up next to someone, but then I realize how nice it is to have the whole bed to myself and forget about it. And to be honest, I don’t have room for another person. I am used to sharing my bed with a million pillows and stuffed animals and if that is not the case, I have all my technology right next to me. Laptop, tablet, phone, chargers and there are also notebooks, just in case I have an idea that needs to be written down. So no room for you!

2. I hate making compromises
I know that this is an important part in a healthy relationship and I hate it. I am so used to doing everything exactly how I want to and it would be endlessly hard to give up things I like or let things into my life that I don’t like. Just the thought of moving in with a man totally freaks me out. I’m definitely not a good roommate.

3. I work too much
People say that when something is worth it, you make time for it. I guess that’s true but when it comes to work, it can’t always go your way. I’ve always been a hard worker. Usually, I work far too many hours and I often don’t have time for anything else. During my five years at university, there were times I worked three jobs at the same time, while getting my degrees. I definitely did not have much of a social life. Momentarily, I’m working as an au pair and with all the hours I do, once again, I barely have time for anything else. I do it for the money and I’m a workaholic. It’s not always fun but I want to be able to afford things and nothing ever get’s handed to me on a silver platter. I’m not exactly sure what I will do with my future but I will most definitely continue to work as hard as I can and it just doesn’t leave much room for other things.

4. I overthink
Occasionally, I do meet someone and instead of enjoying it, I instantly have a million doubts in my head. I don’t even make room for chances because my head immidiately draws up the worst case scenario. I go back to thinking about how the other guys in my life screwed up and how it made me feel and it reminds me of why I decided to keep away from guys, in the first place.

5. I will write about you
You know how Taylor Swift writes songs about all her exes? I will write articles about you and our relationship. I will most definitely write about you if things go wrong. It’s just what writers do. Our life and the people in it are our inspiration and not every guy can handle that.

6. Lazy days over party nights
Just the thought of having someone by my side, who constantly wants to go out, makes me want to stay single forever. It is definitely ok to go out once in a while, but not on a regular basis. You can take me to the movies and maybe occasionally out to dinner, but parties are not my favorite thing and if I go out, I prefer to do so with my girls. My experience taught me that going out with your boyfriend can get pretty ugly.

7. I have trust issues
Given that I’ve been screwed over so many times, I have serious problems with trusting people. I never had anything to do with jealousy but I paid for it and I don’t know how I would handle it now. I’m pretty sure, if I ever hear a guy tell me that he’s just friends with some girl and they’ve known each other forever, I will probably rip both of their heads off. I never wanted to be that kind of woman but my experience taught be to be more careful. And just for the record, I will find out everything that you do because I’ve got some serious computer skills and eyes and ears everywhere, so no man should ever try to screw me over again. I can make your life miserable.

8. I have a low tolerance for bullshit
I don’t play games anymore. If you like me, you will show me. If not, you’re out. I don’t accept stupid excuses for whatever thing you did and don’t even think about sending me a bouquet of flowers when you messed up. If you do something that causes rumors that I don’t like, you better watch out. If you act differently because your friends are around, we’ll have a problem. I could go on and on with this list.

9. My head belongs to a seven-year old
Every time I brought a guy home, which was not that often, I was a little afraid to let them into my world. What you must know is that my room looks like Disneyland and every seven-year old girl would want to stay in there forever. At first, it leaves everyone a little speechless, but they usually adjust. After all, they do not have to live in there forever. The thing is, it does not only have an impact on my room. I constantly buy more things like Disney merchandize, I will most likely ask you to watch children’s movies with me and if you ask me where I want to go on vacation, I will probably answer with “Disneyland.”

10. I have balls
Salma Hayek once said “I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do” and that is exactly what I am waiting for, as well. I am a strong woman with a strong mind. I’ve had to defend myself all my life and I never really had people standing up for me. I fight my own battles and I don’t take shit from anybody. Many guys find me intimidating and I can’t blame them, but I definitely can’t be with someone like that. If you’re too nice, I will eat you alive. If I wanted a dog, I’ would get one. I need someone who is not afraid to speak his mind and does not shy away from challenging me. Otherwise, I will get bored.

11. I need my own space
When I feel that my space is invaded, I have a really hard time dealing with it. I need a lot of time to myself and I am not good at entertaining people 24/7, no matter in what relationship I am with them. I was always alone and even if I was with someone, I was more alone than anything else. I know it sounds sad but it made me independent and strong and I will never make myself dependent on any man.

12. I’m not a housewife
If I know one thing about my life, it is that I do not want to be a housewife. I would be a very good one but it’s just not in the books for me. Marriage and kids were never on my list. Everyone keeps telling me that I will change my mind, but I’m not a teenager making this decision. Of course, you never know what will happen in the future but I highly doubt that I will ever feel the urge to be a wife, a mother, a housewife. Especially after working full-time as an au pair, I’m more serious about this than ever before. I know that not every man wants a housewife, but to be honest, deep down they all do.

13. I’m obsessed with TV shows
I’m not talking about one or two TV shows that I like to catch up on every week. I’m talking about shows from all different categories and I spend a lot of time watching them. I usually combine this with writing or ironing my clothes because I have too much to do to just watch TV all day, but still, this is important to me. My last boyfriend was overall annoying, especially when he was in my really small dorm room, while I wanted to watch “Friends.” It drove me nuts. I highly doubt that I find someone who will sit down with me and watch everything from “Pretty Little Liars” to “Sons of Anarchy” to “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

14. My expectations are too high
I’m pretty sure that every person has a list in their head how the ideal partner would look and be like. Mine is crazy and a guy like that does not exist! The thing is, my family and friends used to say that my standards were too high but then I pointed out the guys I’ve dated and they had to agree that it was not the case. None of them were close to what is on my list and on top of that, they were douchebags. So now, I’m at a point were I don’t feel like lowering my standards anymore. I got screwed over so many times and afterward, I always wanted to punch myself in the face for letting it happen by guys who were so not worth anything.

15. I’m complicated
I don’t blame it all on the guys. I know that I am definitely not easy to handle and I can get highly complicated. This list is definitely proof. I don’t believe in eternal love and sometimes, I don’t even know if I believe in love, at all. I’ve witnessed so many hearts break. I’ve had so many guys hit on me who have girlfriends and claim to love them dearly. I’m a child of separated parents. Everything influenced me so much that I hardly have any respect left for men. I don’t excuse their behavior just because they are male, which a lot of women do. A real man has respect and knows what is right and what is wrong. If one day, a real man comes along and sweeps me off of my feet, I will be more surprised than anyone else.

Posted in #SingleGirlProblems | Tagged #SingleGirlProblems, about me, boyfriend, children, decision, Disney Obsession, everyday, guys, housewife, Kardashian, life, lifestyle, living, love, movies, Pretty Little Liars, relationships, Salma Hayek, single, strong, TV, women | 7 Comments

Photography: Travel Pics

Posted on May 24, 2015 by haileyjaderyan

Ever since I started working as an au pair, I’ve got my mind set on nothing but traveling. I try to take every opportunity to explore new places and if I had more money, I would definitely visit more. When I think about going back home to Germany in October, I really think about all the places I want to explore in my own country and all of Europe. No matter where I go, I always bring my camera, so here are some pictures I took on my trips to Vail, Los Angeles, Boston and Lake Tahoe.