The Undateable Girl's Diary

I found an essay that I wrote for one of my classes back in high school. It was titled: “How do I know that I’m not a man?” and it was full of clichés. It was the topic, though. What is “typical female” and “typical male.” Now, I’m thinking about how stupid these clichés are. I mean yes, they develop because there is always a little truth in them, but you cannot generalize it. And at some time, you might fulfill many of them and a few years later, you are a completely different person. The essay began like this:

Many of my features show pretty clearly that I’m not a man. Often enough, I’m declared to be “typical female.” It begins with me spending a lot of time in my bathroom when the day begins. Shower, make-up, styling… I could stay in there for hours. I could never live without any of it. Taking care of myself is really important.

Haha, I was a picture-perfect Barbie-doll. Always a little too much. Nowadays I’m thinking: why did I have all this time to get ready? I mean, I wrote that in school. My bus came at like 6:30 in the morning or so. Today, I definitely need a lot less time. I can apply my make-up in 10 minutes, if I have to. A few years ago, I would have never left the house without being perfectly styled from head to toe. I would have never even taken out the trash without looking perfect. Today, I go outside looking like trash. ;) But I think this isn’t merely “typical female” anymore, when women spend a lot of time getting ready. There are probably many guys today, who need a lot more time to get ready, than I do. Over the years it totally became a male thing, too. I bet that many of them even have more products than some of us ladies.

Furthermore, I’m a fashion junkie and a shopaholic. When I go shopping, it takes hours until I find everything I need or not need. I could go shopping everyday which is definitely visible inside my closet. While men go shopping because they need something in particular, it is what I hate the most. I never find something when I really need it. Even worse, I always assume that I might find something better, once I did find something. I simply don’t take the first pick. At least not immediately. You never know what else there is, right? I doubt that men do this. They see something, buy it and go home. What else doesn’t happen to men, is realizing that what you bought, is the wrong size. You try everything on at home and once in a while, an item is too small. But we’re women. Sometimes, us women just don’t want to admit that we need a bigger size. We’ve all been there. ;) Even worse, sometimes, we don’t even like the items that we bought. We were just so full of shopping-adrenaline that we simply wanted to buy everything. I still have some things in my closet that I will never wear. And when it comes to shoes, men have three pair, I have fifty.

I think, a lot of guys like to shop. They may be a little easier to shop with than us women, but it’s not always look-store-buy-go home. No, they look in more than one store, try on different things and need more time than an hour. And I definitely enjoyed shopping much more when I was in high school. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Most women love to shop. But I think it’s really exhausting. My back aches, often enough I’m frustrated and I became a huge fan of online shopping. I don’t go shopping that often but somehow, the amount of clothes I own majorly increased. I have two closets with three doors each. And an additional clothes rail. That is all for the clothes that I still want to keep. I have at least another closet full of clothes that I’m trying to sell or give away. Every time, I sort out my closets, I take out a lot, but you never really see a change. I love clothes. Always have, always will. But still, I don’t need shopping everyday. At least not for hours. But if someone would offer me a shopping trip right now, I would definitely say yes. I haven’t been to fashion stores in a while. I really have to save my money until I have a new job. It sucks big time, but it’s not like I don’t have enough clothes. ;) And I stopped buying things that I don’t really like or that don’t fit. At least for the most part. But instead of buying clothes too small, I sometimes buy them too big. I try not to. And I do have a few pair of shoes, but I don’t constantly buy shoes. I can leave shoes behind. Handbags, too. So here, I don’t fulfill a cliché. :)

And then there is parking. I’m gonna admit it: definitely not my speciality. There are moment when I really hope that no man saw me trying to park my car.

There was this one time when me and two of my friends drove to the zoo. There were so many people that all the official parking lots were full. It took us forever to find a little spot where my car would fit into. We did, but it took us at least twenty minutes to get the car parked. My bff made it and boy were we relieved. I’m really not gonna go into detail but it was horrible and funny at the same time. To our defense, we had to park sideways, there was the curb, not much space, no power assisted steering, no beeping and it was really hot. :D But yes, most guys I know are really good at parking and they would have probably parked that car in less than a minute. Although, I would love to test that. That was a really tricky situation. And there are some women too, who can park really good. My mom can probably park anywhere, even blindfolded. I wish, I was that good.

What is also typical for me and for many other women is how much we talk. I can definitely talk for hours without a break. Especially on the phone. And what man likes to talk on the phone? Sometimes, I talk so much that even my mom doesn’t want to listen to me, forever. And definitely not my boyfriend. I just can’t understand how many men can live through the day with a very small amount of words.

I think my brother is the exception. He’s on the phone all day. Besides him, I never met a guy who likes to talk on the phone. I hate it. And just for the record, I don’t have that boyfriend anymore. He really wasn’t a fan of talking on the phone. But I know that I talk extremely much. And sometimes much too fast. I sometimes even forget to breathe. I think this is definitely something that is considered to be “typical female.”

There is so much more that is “typical female” about me. I tend to overreact. I really let little things get to me and then it turns into this huge bomb that explodes. (Me being the bomb!) Guess how much my boyfriend likes this! ;) Then, I’m a very creative person. I could do crafting for hours. I give my room make-overs, I decorate and so on. Show me one man who is able to cut a straight line with a scissor. Haven’t seen one, yet. And when it comes to presents, I often had to find out how un-creative guys are. Furthermore, I’m very emotional and I scream or cry whenever I feel like it. You don’t see men do that pretty often.

And then, I go on listing a few male characteristics that can be associated with me. I mean yeah, sometimes, all these clichés fit but there are always exceptions and I think being “typical female” or “typical male” is so boring. I’m glad that I’m not that typical girly girl anymore. I’m glad that men discovered that it’s totally ok to me metrosexual. Stereotypes can be so right and so wrong. Either way, it should not be something that should be taken too seriously. I could list a lot of things that would be considered “typical male” and still, I am a woman. And I’m glad to be one. One that doesn’t care what is expected of her because of stereotypes. One that always was and always will be herself. And if tomorrow, I decide to hate pink, stop wearing make-up and give away all my clothes, I will probably still be a woman. Just different but not necessarily less woman. (Yeah, as if that will EVER happen. ;) )