Goodbye April 2021

Goodbye, April,

and hello, May. Also, Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms out there. Thank you for everything you do. You’re amazing! Also, hi mom, I love you.

Mix April 2021 1

How can it be May already?! And 2021 is still pretty shit. Seriously, I hardly have anything fun to report cause we’re still in lockdown. Nobody really understands anything anymore, and it all mostly doesn’t seem to make much sense, but at least, numbers are finally starting to go down, and I hope it will continue. It would be nice to be able to have a little fun this summer. I don’t want the whole world, just some little adventures here and there. I am also finally registered for a vaccine appointment, and it would be lovely to get this show on the road. It will most likely still be a while, but I never thought I’d even be eligible to register at this point – Germany is pretty slow – so I am happy with that.

Enough with the whole covid dilemma. I’m trying to think of fun things, which sure is better for my mental health. I’ve definitely had some low days, which is normal, and I’m sure, especially right now, many people have those days when everything sucks. Isolation just does things to you. I’m not someone who is usually out and about all the time but being mostly alone can get a bit depressing. I’m glad to have the doggy. Without him, I would be lost. I also see my mom every week, but that’s pretty much it. And with the weather mostly not being great – even the snow came back – meeting my friends is not really possible cause we don’t want to hang out indoors. Better safe than sorry.

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However, I did have one absolutely amazing day. Which I still can’t believe actually happened. It wasn’t planned, but sometimes everything turns out to be fab. Just like that. The weather was supposed to be great for one day, and I planned on actually leaving the house – which I don’t do much except for walks with the dog and the occasional grocery shop – to meet with my brother and go for a walk. But then I got a call from my best friend, who had moved to another country this year, telling me that she was in town, had some time and would stop by in like ten minutes. My feelings were all over the place. I miss her so much all the time, and then she was just there, we hung out a bit, and it was wonderful. We actually saw each other twice that day. Long story, but it happened, and we laughed, talked, exchanged birthday gifts, and I am still high on endorphins.

But, even though that was the best part of that day, it wasn’t the only fun I had. I did go for a walk with my brother, and the local place we went to is just beautiful, and I enjoyed it very much. Then I stopped by at my other besties place to hang out with her and my godson. We played in the sandbox, and at the end of the day, I had sand in my shoes, my jacket, and that’s just the way it’s supposed to be. When you have sand everywhere, you know it’s been a good day. And when I was back home, my mom came by, cause we had to take care of some things and as mentioned above, my best friend came over again. It was just perfect: sunshine, lots of people I love dearly, fun, laughter, and all the good things. By the end of the day, I was exhausted but endlessly happy. I’m not used to seeing so many people anymore, being out all day, enjoying life. It was perfection.

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It’s honestly the little things that matter so much. And just one good day is better than none. I’m trying to focus on the good things, and staying busy with things I love doing. I made myself a long to-do list that keeps me active and prevents my mental health from spiraling. I try and do something every day, do my work, take care of household stuff, talk to friends and family over the phone or do video calls, listen to 90s music, read, sleep a lot, eat everything I love, watch all my TV shows, engage in too much online shopping, and just try and make the best of it. I have a week off from work this month, and I’m planning on not sitting at home all day long.

Focus on the little things that make you happy. Try to keep busy. If you’re allowed to enjoy a bit more freedom in your country again, just go for it. Stay safe, but go for it. But also don’t feel the need to force yourself. You’re ready when you’re ready. Try thinking good thoughts. I know it’s hard, I’m struggling a lot with it, but I try, and it does make a difference. And if you’re feeling low, know that it’s ok. Talk about it, cry, try to let it all out. You’re feelings are valid. Never forget that.

Tons of love,

balkon 1

Lovely life
reading wonderful books doggy cuddles beautiful spring days late birthday presents scenic walks strawberries holiday’s homemade pizza Criminal Minds children’s laughter playing in the sand spending time with your best friends cute stickers online shopping new clothes a good burrito making plans ticking things off of your to-do-list cake funny memes candy boxes gourmet food visiting the local market free books days that make you smile for weeks

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About haileyjaderyan

⋅ 34 ⋅ a rollercoaster ride ⋅ undateable ⋅ dreamer ⋅ explorer ⋅ disney obsessed ⋅ ♥
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