The Undateable Girl's Diary

Well, at least one of the best. Last Thursday I finally finished my academic studies and now, I have my Master of Arts degree. Let me just tell you that I am the happiest person on earth and I am really proud of myself. I have worked very hard for this during the last five years and now, it’s a done deal. Last week, I finally received the grade for my thesis and had my final oral exam and it all went very well. But just let me tell you a little about that day, or maybe about the whole week.

On Monday, I finally received a letter that contained my thesis reports and with that, my grade. This might sound totally stupid to some of you, but my biggest fear came true. It was only a B. Now in Germany, we have a different grading system. At university, you get grades from 1.0, which is the best you can get, to 4.0. Everything below means you failed. To be exact, you can get 1.0 1.3 1.7 2.0 2.3 2.7 and so on. Since I am highly overambitious, I had certain hopes and expectations but I didn’t quite make it. My thesis was graded with 2.0 which is of course very good but not really good enough for me. It’s like second place – it sucks! What annoyed me the most though, is the fact that I had to realize again that agreements obviously don’t count. Why do I even talk to my professor about my structure, plans etc., only to realize that he expected something more like I had in mind in the very beginning, before he told me to do something different? Or the second reader criticizing me for handing in a rather short thesis. Ummm, hello? According to the study and examination regulations, I had to hand in 60 pages, which I did. This is just something I don’t get but there is not much I can do about it. It is still a good grade and I wasn’t too devastated, due to fact my bff and me had booked our London trip about half an hour earlier. I was too stoked to be sad.

So because of this 2.0, I was pretty sure that I cannot get my A-average anymore and therefore, I didn’t put too much effort into studying for my final oral exam. A little here and there, but I was much more interested in watching tv. The exam doesn’t count much anyway and even if so, I never managed to get an A in an oral exam because I never managed to control my nerves. Imagine how surprised I was, when it actually went really well. I wasn’t much nervous. I just wanted to get it over with. I also brought my best friend and since we were running late, I had no time to stress myself out. I went into the office with my pockets full of lucky charms (rocks that baby boy gave to me, a little frog that I have since living in Texas as a child, and infinity rings my bestie gave to me before the exam. She wore one and I wore two. She sent me power. ;) I was pretty relaxed and just talked as much as I could. Gladly, I’m good with my professor and it was all ok. I answered everything, my English was perfect as usual and who would have thought, I received an 1.7. That felt awesome, but I thought it didn’t matter much. Still I was happy and just thrilled. DONE! Goodbye university – never again.

Afterward, I ran some errands, bought myself some cute things, visited another friend and then drove home. I was exhausted and tired, since I hadn’t really slept a lot the night before and it was pretty hot outside. I was sooo glad to be back at home. I just relaxed in bed and did pretty much nothing, since nobody was at home to celebrate and I had already called everyone. At some point, I just thought about checking if my grades were already online. To my surprise they were, which meant, I was able to see my final average. It was always my biggest dream to finish my studies with an one-point-something average and there it was. 1.9. That was the moment I completely lost it. I cried so hard and called my friends and family while sobbing like the world is going down. I actually scared some of them because they all thought something horrible happened. I just freaked out and it took a while to actually calm down. In that moment, five years of pure stress fell off my shoulders and one of my biggest dreams came true. To be honest, I still can’t believe it really happened. MASTER OF ARTS, 1,9 AVERAGE within the expected number of semesters. Yes, I am bragging but this just feels so awesome, especially because almost nobody in my life ever thought I had it in me. So many people always thought I was stupid. Some of them couldn’t even understand how I managed to finish school. Yes, I wanted to prove something. To those people and to myself and I did it. I went through a whole lot of stress to get here. I surrendered a lot of things to get here. I put myself under a lot of pressure to get here. Now I know that it was all worth it and I am so happy. I did it all by myself and I rocked it!

When I started, I thought university was like in teen movies, but I soon realized that it is not. I admit, I never gave uni-life an actual chance, but it’s ok. I know why I missed out on a lot of things and what for. And I still don’t get how many students think it’s so much more important to go partying 24/7 and how they don’t care about some extra semesters. Don’t these people want to experience something new? See the world, work…? I really just wanted to get done, as soon as possible. I loved to study American Studies. I never regretted it and I hope I never will. In terms of finding a job, it was not the best decision, but I let my heart decide and it was right. I believe that when you’re good and you are willing to work hard, you will find a way to make it. It might not be easy, but easy is for cowards.  I can just say that it will pay off to work hard for your dreams. You might have to make sacrifices but at some point, you will be rewarded. It took me 26 years to realize this, but last week, I did. It paid off and I am completely satisfied.

I am thankful that my parents provided me with the opportunity to study at university. They paid for my books, my rent, my food, my fees, which is a whole lot of money when you add it all together. And in a way, I am thankful for all those idiots who never believed in me. You pushed me to become the best I can be and I am pretty damn good.

Now, new adventures are waiting for me and I can’t wait to see what the world has to offer. I am truly happy and I hope, this won’t ever change, again.

Follow your dreams!

Never give up!

Educate yourself!

Do what is best for you!

Hard work pays off!

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