10 Things That Will Make Me Swipe Left On Tinder

Tinder
By now, we’ve probably established that Tinder is not really for me. I still have the app on my phone and I swipe through it, but I hardly ever swipe right on someone. So many weirdos out there. I would probably be more open to the whole thing in a big city where I don’t know people and people don’t know me. Seriously, finding someone for the real deal on Tinder is probably almost impossible and casually hooking up with someone, when chances are you’ll run into him at the supermarket a week after, isn’t very intriguing. And yes, we all know that I’m a superficial bi*ch with a whole list of no-go’s. So here we go.

1. Your bio is weird as fu**
Yesterday, I read a bio saying “Those who wear sweatpants have lost control over their lives.” What a weirdo. I mean, if you never wear sweatpants, are you even human? And if you don’t like me in sweats, you don’t deserve me anyway. Seriously, people write some crazy stuff into their bios.

2. You’re holding a baby or cuddling an animal
There is this thing with women finding men super attractive when they’re holding a baby or playing with a dog. I don’t dig it. I mean, I actually think that most of these guys probably borrowed child or animal to make them look better. Furthermore, if it’s not just for sex, I don’t want these commitments. Planning around pets and children is really not my thing. So yeah, it doesn’t work for me.

3. You’re surrounded by other girls
What exactly is the point of this? If you’re such a chick magnet, why do you need Tinder? And I don’t care if it’s your sister, mother or best friend, don’t include other women in your dating profile.

4. You’re clearly lying about your age
Have you seen some of these obvious liars? It’s ridiculous. I wish I could just dm them and ask if they really think they can pull it off? Sure, there may be some people in this world that are younger or older than they look but please, if you look like you could almost be my dad and pretend you’re like 29, it’s simply pathetic. And people, don’t tell me age doesn’t matter. I’m 28 and I can’t and don’t want to go out with someone who’s like 18 or 50. I’m not into it.

5. You have a name from my no-go-list
So this might seem a little harsh but there are just some names I cannot handle. Either they remind me of someone or they’re just not acceptable. No, I won’t give examples. I mean, if he’s otherwise perfect, I may try to look past it but in any other case, just no.

6. You don’t have a picture
Seriously, what are you hiding? Tinder isn’t really about the inside of a person. It’s about either liking someone’s face or not.

7. You’re an extreme party goer
I’m not saying you can’t party but if your pictures tell me that it’s all you’ve got to offer, I will have to swipe left. Grow up and get some more hobbies, you’re not a teenager anymore.

8. You’re such a poser
Guys that clearly take too many selfies are not very attractive. Especially when the duckface is involved. And all that muscle flexing in front of mirrors hardly ever catches my attention. Sure, a nice body is great but posing totally kills it.

9. You’re someone I know
You see guys from school, university, your freaking small village and you just think great, never gonna happen. I’m also not a huge fan of you when we know a lot of the same people. Trust me, I have many reasons for this.

10. You live too far away
What is the point? Most people on Tinder are probably looking for a hookup. Like I’m gonna drive an hour or two for that. In your dreams, babe.

PS: This is probably my way of boycotting every chance of getting to know someone.

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About haileyjaderyan

⋅ 29 ⋅ a rollercoaster ride ⋅ undateable ⋅ dreamer ⋅ explorer ⋅ disney obsessed ⋅ ♥
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20 Responses to 10 Things That Will Make Me Swipe Left On Tinder

  1. I’ve never used Tinder and this post makes me seriously glad I don’t have the need too! I can imagine I would be super picky, and it would be so much easier on an app to be more selective!

    hannahemilylane.com | Newest post: My blogging process

  2. I love this! SO true! I barely swipe anyone right for pretty much all of the same reasons!! X

  3. Morgan Greenwood says:

    idk if it’s just where I live, but most of the dudes around here are just nasty.. They meet most of the criteria on your list lol. One guy had a picture wearing vampire fangs and it clearly wasn’t for Halloween…that was an automatic left swipe for me.

  4. Morgan Greenwood says:

    idk if it’s just where I live, but most of the dudes on tinder are just..nasty. Pretty much all of them meet the criteria on your list lol. One guy had a picture of himself wearing fangs and it clearly wasn’t Halloween…that was an automatic left swipe from me.

  5. Pingback: Goodbye March | The Undateable Girl's Diary

  6. Sam says:

    I laughed too loud at the name thing. Interesting, though. Everyone has their needs and wants so whatever works for you. Personally, I think Tinder is useless.

    S .x http://ramblingsofayoungprgirl.blogspot.com

  7. Mia says:

    LOVE THIS. I’ve never dared use it because I live in a tiny village and I want to avoid the people round here as much as possible. However, I may need to explore the world of online dating eventually because… I live in a tiny village and I want to avoid the people round here as much as possible :P
    Love your blog! :)
    Miagetsablog.blogspot.co.uk

    • Haha, I know you’re pain. I always see people on there that I know and I’m always like nooooo! But Tinder is such a great source of entertainment. Guys are ridiculous! :D Thanks so much for reading and for your lovely comment. xx

  8. beverbeee says:

    I loved this post. I’m always laughing so much at weird bios that people post about but i get most of these. Why would you want to date someone who has 7 other girls in their profile pic and tells you theyre 26 when they look about 16!

    xx

    • I know, right? Tinder is hilarious. I can’t even take it serious as a “dating” app. Most guys on there are just ridicilous! :D Thanks so much for stopping by. xx

  9. Tore says:

    I wrote a similar post lately so I totally feel your pain! The cute animal holders make me feel so conflicted, like I wanna swipe right for the tiny puppy, not you! Aaaagh! Haha.

    Tore | http://www.atinymew.com xo

  10. Jordyn says:

    This post is right on point about Tinder. Great post! I show it to my sister and we both laughed!

  11. bronaghloves says:

    I’ve never been so thankful to not need tinder! I did use OKCupid before though, and its really fun!
    I also fully agree on a name being on the no list instantly! Too many bad memories can ruin a name!

    Bronagh
    http://www.bronaghloves.com

    • Don’t even try it, it’s horrible. I still swipe through all the guys, though just for the fun of it. :D It’s hilarious! And I’m super glad that I’m not the only one who makes a decision based on names.:) xx

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