This year, I turned 30. For many people, this is a signal to give me pitiful looks and worry about my ticking clock. Especially, because I’ve been single for a million years. But the thing is, I never wanted kids. I still don’t and I don’t care, if a million people tell me to “just wait” and “you’ll change your mind”. I mean sure, there is always a slight chance of changing your mind, but I doubt it. And I don’t get why it’s so hard for others to just accept the fact that a proper adult deliberately makes a decision like this. Last time I checked, I wasn’t some teenager, anymore.
The problem is that even in 2018, society still expects women to want and to have children. It still hasn’t settled in that women may have different plans than what is considered “traditional.” I also don’t want to get married. Sue me! I’m just tired to defend myself for something, that I shouldn’t have to defend myself for. I even have friends that cannot accept it. I mean, if you’re whole life evolves around your children and there is literally nothing else going on anymore, that’s fine for you, but to me, that just sounds horrible. And I’m not saying that it’s the way it has to be and that you still get to have a life as a parent, but all the changes that come with it – I just can’t see myself making them.
To be honest, I’m happy that I don’t feel the urge to start a family because considering the situation I’m in, I would be absolutely devastated with time actually running. And no, I don’t think you’re too old to get kids when you’re over thirty (my personal limit is like forty), but having a child with someone should be a well thought out decision. And I’ve been single for eight years now, so finding a father for my baby seems to be a mission impossible. I’m just not into the daddy type of guy.
You don’t want children? But you’re so good with them.
So here’s the deal. I’m really great with kids. I honestly think that I’d be a fabulous mom, but I’m just always really glad to give back the kids people throw at me. I’ve taken care of a baby for a year as an au pair, I have a god son who is turning eight in December and I’m sure he’s not going to be the only god child in my life. Friends fully trust me with their little ones and I just always end up with the kids at parties. They truly love me. Probably cause I’m still a big kid myself and am just up for anything. You’ll find me on a playground in a fancy dress because I just couldn’t care less. If it makes a kid happy, I’ll do it. That doesn’t mean, I let them get away with everything, though. I’m actually pretty strict, but it doesn’t make the kids love you any less.
Anyway, I really don’t want to sound awful, but kids can be such assholes. There, I said it. I love them, but I also don’t. When they reach a certain age, I really have a hard time being patient. I mean babies don’t understand things and that’s fine. I don’t mind teaching them. When they’re old enough though to know exactly what you want from them and they still ignore you? That’s just not for me. I recently had my god son over for the weekend. And as much as I love the kid, I also wanted to throw him out the window. He just knows everything and is always right. I find it especially annoying, since I know where it comes from and I just don’t think that it’s healthy to make children always feel that they’re kings and queens. A child should get used to failing, once in a while. It will probably make them feel a little less disappointment along the way. But as a non-parent, you mostly don’t get to have an opinion. Because how could an objective outsider with no kids possibly know anything, right?
Not wanting kids doesn’t make me a monster or any less of a woman!
So yeah, I have my reasons. I want to see the world, I want to work on my career, I want to hang out with my friends, I want to eventually date again, I want to make rash decisions that impact nobody, but myself, I want to sleep all weekend, if I feel like it, I definitely never want to be forced to get up early (aside from work, of course) and I just don’t want to take that kind of responsibility. And yes, having a child doesn’t mean that I can’t do things, I just don’t want to feel guilty because I know I would. But all of this doesn’t make me a monster or any less of a woman. It is my personal decision to not have kids. So you can all calm down and stop worrying about my ticking clock.
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yeah… I don’t know how to feel about this. I’m 23 now, definitely a type that wants a family and kids. However, if you ask me now – no chance in hell! This is probably because I’m single too and I actually need a real relationship and a husband to have a child. I’m also so weird around kids and they terrify me haha And I freaking hate when they scream for no reason. Kids being kids. So, with all of this, my family is also weirded out that I’m like this. The main point is, I’m not ready. Neither are you. Maybe we’ll be some day, maybe not. Children are not something to have just because you “have to”. They are a huge deal and a huge change in your life so it’s excellent that some women know whether they want them or not.
I actually do think I would be ready now, I just really don’t want any. I agree that people should really think about it. Unfortunately, not everyone does. People should’t think you’re weird because you’re only 23. Times have changed and lots of women are older and want to accomplish other things before becoming a mother. Plenty of time left for you! :)