If the last few weeks have taught me one thing, it’s that people who constantly have to get in other people’s business make my blood boil. Sure, we all love our fair share of gossip. But there is a difference between exchanging some info about people you can’t stand with your best friend, or harassing everyone with annoying questions to have something to gossip about.
Going through life without knowing everything about everyone works pretty well for me. I constantly see things on social media from people I may have been close with at some point in my life. But if I haven’t really talked to someone in years, which usually happens for a reason, I never think “Oh hey, I wanna know everything, so I’ll just bombard someone with questions cause I don’t have a life.” I really don’t give a damn and move on. When I see someone having a child or buying a house, or whatever, I may utter some congratulations and that’s it.
I recently found my dream apartment and posted about it online and on WhatsApp. Boy, was I surprised who was suddenly interested in my life. Sorry folks, just because you know where I’ll be living, doesn’t mean you’re invited. And it became absolutely clear who is an actual friend and who isn’t. My girls sent congratulations and offered help, some people also sent congratulations and were just really sweet about it, which was lovely, but some were just being nosy.
Maybe I’m overreacting. But lately, it’s been bugging me, depending on who the questions are from. Probably triggered by the following scenario: There was a phone call with several people, and I told them, I was looking at an apartment. My close friends wished me luck, the nosy person immediately threw in comments, questions, and wanted a link with all the info, which I didn’t want to give. Didn’t feel like jinxing it. And I know how judgemental this person is. I wasn’t interested in anyone’s unasked opinion.
However, what really made me mad, after not getting the apartment and definitely being sad about it, the same person at first was like “oh, so sorry for you”, and then asked to see the apartment anyway. Are you kidding me? What the hell for? Is your life really that boring that you have to look at an apartment I didn’t get? And then what, talk about it and tell me how great it would’ve been? Hell no. I just got really upset. And then when I found a place, the same person wanted to throw a catalog full of questions at me, which I pretty much ignored. Apparently, that was too much to handle, though. So one of my best friends received complaints about me not sharing more details. Isn’t that just so ridiculous and sad? I sure know who won’t be getting an invite anytime soon.
Anyway, I can’t stand this kind of nosiness. Not in my private life, and also not at work. I do my job. I don’t ask many questions. If people want to tell me something, they can, and I will keep my mouth shut. No gossip in the world is worth risking your job. Often, they tell me things I don’t even want to know and put ideas into my head that I then worry about. Fab. And aside from the general gossip, I do not appreciate people bombarding others with phone calls, pressing for information over and over again. I mean, how unprofessional can you be? I always feel a bit embarrassed for people who act this way.
So yeah, I just had to get this off my chest cause I’m obviously annoyed. And I hope the level of boringness in my life will never get so high, that I have to get on everybody’s nerves. My point is, be more empathetic. When someone is going through something, don’t make it harder on them. When people are ready to share, they will. When someone is happy, wish them the best and wait to become a part of the journey. Don’t take the chance of sharing something special away from someone, by being nosy and then not keeping your mouth shut. Accept when a person wants to keep something to themselves.
For me, these are things that make me decide who I want to have in my life. Who is there at the right time, who doesn’t push when I don’t feel like it, who doesn’t judge or compare. Don’t go around asking stupid and maybe even hurtful questions. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
See also my post: “So, have you met anyone lately?”, which is a great example of a question nobody needs to hear.